It was then, in late March 2020, that within 24 hours my mother died in the hospital, my daughter was married in our living room, and Covid shut down New York City.
Such a memorable time. Sigh. Such mixed emotions. That video is hilarious. Thank you. I’m sure your Mum looks down and shakes her head every time you share these memories. 😊
The top of the line casket is really called “The Moses?” I think if I were Jewish I’d probably only be able to afford the Rodney Dangerfield. I’m comforted by knowing he’d like that joke.
Seriously, I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. Let me know if I can help in any way.
My heartfelt empathy, David. Thank you for vulnerably sharing the tears and your bold moves. I think Andrew's going to have a lot more than 310 views after this weekend!
I'm familiar with bittersweet moments and the weirdness of piercing acute joy in the darkest tragic period. It seems we're our most human selves in that paradoxical intersection. My best wishes to you and your family through all you're going through.
Oof. The Talmud says that if a wedding procession and a funeral procession run into each other in the street, the funeral procession waits and allows the wedding procession to pass first.
Damnit David ! Just as I was finally venturing into a new substack post you sidelined me. Your mother looks remarkable elegant like mine. Chiseled features. Fine white haired. Proud mother of 6 women. March 21!? My birthday. I insisted she, riddled with stroke after stroke ridding her of speech , not die on my birthday. Yup. She was gracious to the end. Just after midnight . March 22 in her 64th st apt. Frank Campbell. She too. My eldest sister made all the arrangements. 25 years ago Along with funeral St Vincent Ferrer . I eulogized. Opening line “Eleanor wore pearls when she vacuumed .” Laughter and tears. She was 84. Appears your mother was a woman to be reckoned with and admired. And now. With further adieu…
Great descriptions, David. l am not sure I knew that Jewish caskets got named, probably a name price correlation somehow. I think it could be fun for us to give them names, not let the director do it. I suppose the top Christian casket would be the Jesus casket and if they wanted to keep the sexes separate, Mary would be right up there with Jesus. I can hardly imagine the Noicodemus casket because I am still laughing about Hezekiah.
Weddings and funerals are celebrations of passages, transitions worth noting for their service for those being celebrated. I've been in that Frank Campbell tomb, hope not to ever go back. There's a fairly new, really quite ancient, form of burial of the dead called Natural or Green. The body is sometimes prepared by family with oils, wrapped in biodegradable materials and put in the ground with no liners or vaults to preserve anything with toxic chemicals and allow the body to return to the earth and decompose naturally.
This is so good David, like The New York Times' Modern Love good. I felt your daughter's disappointment and then guilt over her downscaled wedding. I'm smiling as I imagine you being upsold your mother's casket. When my mother died in 2018 my brother tried to haggle (unsuccessfully) over the cost of her cremation. I love the dark humor shared between siblings. Thank you for sharing this story again, it's beautifully written.
Yes, there was a trio of campy disaster movies \in the 1970s I think. Thanks Christine.
This is beautiful
Oh, David . . .
Such a memorable time. Sigh. Such mixed emotions. That video is hilarious. Thank you. I’m sure your Mum looks down and shakes her head every time you share these memories. 😊
The top of the line casket is really called “The Moses?” I think if I were Jewish I’d probably only be able to afford the Rodney Dangerfield. I’m comforted by knowing he’d like that joke.
Seriously, I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. Let me know if I can help in any way.
My heartfelt empathy, David. Thank you for vulnerably sharing the tears and your bold moves. I think Andrew's going to have a lot more than 310 views after this weekend!
I'm familiar with bittersweet moments and the weirdness of piercing acute joy in the darkest tragic period. It seems we're our most human selves in that paradoxical intersection. My best wishes to you and your family through all you're going through.
“All of life and death was in me.” And you made it sing in this essay. I loved tge video. Dance on!
Oof. The Talmud says that if a wedding procession and a funeral procession run into each other in the street, the funeral procession waits and allows the wedding procession to pass first.
This was beautiful. May her memory be a blessing.
Damnit David ! Just as I was finally venturing into a new substack post you sidelined me. Your mother looks remarkable elegant like mine. Chiseled features. Fine white haired. Proud mother of 6 women. March 21!? My birthday. I insisted she, riddled with stroke after stroke ridding her of speech , not die on my birthday. Yup. She was gracious to the end. Just after midnight . March 22 in her 64th st apt. Frank Campbell. She too. My eldest sister made all the arrangements. 25 years ago Along with funeral St Vincent Ferrer . I eulogized. Opening line “Eleanor wore pearls when she vacuumed .” Laughter and tears. She was 84. Appears your mother was a woman to be reckoned with and admired. And now. With further adieu…
"All of life and death was in me."
We hold both
as we hold you.
Beautifully written. The dance video was brilliant. I admire people who can let lose on the dance floor and not worry how it's perceived. 😁
Love this one.
Great descriptions, David. l am not sure I knew that Jewish caskets got named, probably a name price correlation somehow. I think it could be fun for us to give them names, not let the director do it. I suppose the top Christian casket would be the Jesus casket and if they wanted to keep the sexes separate, Mary would be right up there with Jesus. I can hardly imagine the Noicodemus casket because I am still laughing about Hezekiah.
Weddings and funerals are celebrations of passages, transitions worth noting for their service for those being celebrated. I've been in that Frank Campbell tomb, hope not to ever go back. There's a fairly new, really quite ancient, form of burial of the dead called Natural or Green. The body is sometimes prepared by family with oils, wrapped in biodegradable materials and put in the ground with no liners or vaults to preserve anything with toxic chemicals and allow the body to return to the earth and decompose naturally.
Poignant, reverent, and loving. Thank you. The love in your family is beautiful.
This is so good David, like The New York Times' Modern Love good. I felt your daughter's disappointment and then guilt over her downscaled wedding. I'm smiling as I imagine you being upsold your mother's casket. When my mother died in 2018 my brother tried to haggle (unsuccessfully) over the cost of her cremation. I love the dark humor shared between siblings. Thank you for sharing this story again, it's beautifully written.