First, my Principles about candy selection.
We’re talking old school, packaged candy offerings at newsstands, not what’s on offer at some monstrous emporium like Dylan’s or Nutz.
Rule: if you find yourself in a place where you have to scoop your candy, leave!
I’ll never understand people who prefer Milky Way to Snickers. Maybe that’s my problem or maybe I’m just right.
Candy corn is ONLY acceptable at Halloween.
This is for at-home consumption, not for the movies, an entirely different situation as popcorn becomes part of the equation.
A good, if not great, candy selection is all about the combinations of tastes., textures and sizes. For this reason, the only non-candy selection allowed in the mix is incredibly versatile Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips.
An Example of a Well-Thought Out, Five-Handed Candy Selection
Of course you need chocolate, so go with smooth Snickers, the King of candy bars. and a staple of any candy selection.
Butterfingers, which adds crunch and peanut butter taste.
Good n’ Plenty for licorice and also for a smaller bite size variety, a factor often sadly overlooked.
Something gummy; go with Chuckles. Those five pieces will never let you down.
Finally, for tang and an explosion of additional and oppositional flavors, the afore mentioned Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips.
I could have played it safe and posted about politics or religion.
But Substack is all about no fear, putting yourself out there, and being willing to tackle controversial subjects.
Like candy.
If I’ve offended anyone, tough. I’ll see you in the comments.
Chips are not candy. Also, licorice is overlooked because it is gross. Chuckles? That’s “laughable”. Obviously sour patch kids is the gummy choice. I can’t believe I’m related to you.
Kudos, by the way, to you, David. This was a courageous direction to go today.