The question: Will beauty standards for men follow the rise in beauty standards for women? It seems likely to me. What did you think about that?
If celebrity appearance heads "downstream" to drive everyone else's striving for appearance, then just compare male action hero bodies today to twenty years ago. I think the "game" is on and I think it's not a good development as men subject themselves to another area of invidious comparison.
The notion of the "Metrosexual" is urban area of the US seems to me to be more of a thing than ever, wherein hetero men are basically bootlegging large parts of what gay men have been utilizing for decades. Think "Queer eye for the straight guy."
As a former Acupuncturist, I was once utterly skeptical of both expensive beauty treatments--facial rejuvenation methods, primarily--and astoundingly expensive Chinese herbal therapies to rejuvenate vitality. Especially male *sexual* vitality. My earlier assumption was that the very wealthy, or those who would scrimp and save to afford such opulence, were just willingly deluding themselves.
As a clinician, I doubted whether fresh farm-grown ginseng at $1/gram was any less effective than Wild Korean Cheongam--that can and routinely does fetch $500,000 a pound. But several experiments with simple formulas composed of such prestige-level herbs soundly convinced me otherwise. The rich; in this case Asian rich, really can have more. I'm still trying to figure out if I should be jealous.
Yes, but only when combined with other herbs. Like Dong Chong Xia Cao ($2,000/lb and up), Lu Rong deer antler ($50/gram and up). These are the "superstars" of TCM that can and are regularly teamed with a few other ordinary ($50/lb) herbs for optimal effect. You can actually source all these goodies in NYC Chinatown. If you have the money.
But you'll need an experienced herbalist/acupuncturist on retainer (i.e., one with an elite clientele) to make sure you get the right stuff, in the right proportions, in the right frequency. To optimize outcome, and avoid mistakes. Winging it on your own...not advised.
I've seen some suggestion that extreme body building for teen boys is becoming the equivalent of eating disorders in teen girls - unhealthy and dangerous. In my extended family, I see the Gen Z generation males are far more into their appearance than I remember my male cousins being. Of course, my cousins were not online - to get tips on improving one's looks in that era, one had to purchase magazines in the grocery or drugstore.
Thanks Holly. Another commenter made the point that body obsession in boys is not as discussed as it is for girls and so perhaps adults are therefore not as watchful for it.
Interesting piece. I see a lot of “overdone” women in Scottsdale where I live part-time. I’m part of the midwestern snowbird crowd that, while caring about how we look, haven’t succumbed to the extreme efforts of a group sometimes referred to as the “Scottsdale blondes.” These women seem to emulate Barbie - but at the average age of 60. Starting with hair and eyelash extensions that look anything but natural, to massively injected lips and cheek filler that to me looks more like chipmunks than natural cheekbones. Then there’s the bodies… starved to a size 0 but with at least a DD bra size, and Pilates toned with a year round tan. I’m sure these women exist in parts of Florida and California as well - and to be fair, it’s not a huge percentage. They just stand out… all this to say, yes, people are free to do what they want to their bodies and with their money and some procedures look more natural than others (often due to the provider’s guidance.) What I don’t understand is why people clearly want to look like they’ve had “work done” - is that the status symbol? I can afford to get work done?
I think looking like you had work done was the old standard. Now the standard seems to be getting work done so it's not at all obvious. That costs more money to do. It's Laura's phrase of "traceless transformation."
To have work done that is obvious no longer confers status. It's sort of like the quiet luxury in clothing. You want to signal but only to an "in" group. We all live in middle school forever!
I was amused by this comment, because years ago when I was in my late 20s, my husband suggested I should wear eye make-up in such a way that I looked like I had no make-up on. I took that to its natural conclusion and decided not to wear make-up at all. I used lipstick for a few years and then gave that up too. He is completely happy with my decision (although he does think, once in awhlle...) I am WYSIWYG from top to bottom. Luckily, I inherited very good skin. But it suits my personality - very straightforward, in case you hadn't noticed, as well as my sense that my money and time would be better spent in other ways.
I thought everyone knew it - it was all the rage in the early days of personal computers, although I have no idea why. I really wasn't wishing to befuddle you, but congratulations for working it out.
While I don’t see women like that in Toronto, I was once criticized by an Asian sales person at a cosmetics counter for looking at a tinted moisturizer that matched my skin tone. In her mind, Asian women tend to buy products at least a couple of shades lighter. She backed down as soon as I opened my mouth. My accent said it all: “this gal is Canadian.” She was Mandarin speaking based on her accent.
Yes!!!!! It’s like the worst thing in the world right now is to be ugly. The reality is 80% of the world is ugly!!! If we were to run a deferred matching algorithm on every man and woman on earth based solely on attractiveness the reality is everyone would be matched to exactly their level of attractiveness. Nowadays, everyone thinks they are entitled to and deserve attractiveness!!! Why is it something we should deserve? Why are we entitled to it?? And why is it sooooo horrible to be ugly?? So exhausting
It's on all of my social media profiles. I'm sorry you don't like how you look. Maybe get a makeover? Or a better attitude? The better attitude is free ..
I love this post ! I don’t know about beauty standards for men - I always liked the smart Jewish men no matter what they looked like and these days all a guy has to do is speak Hebrew and I’ll think he’s hot. But I may be unusual. I know that as someone who is not rich I deal with things like not being able to fix two slightly chipped front teeth and not being able to afford a lot of clothes. As a teacher I just cycle through pants and skirts I got cheap on Amazon and shirts I got at a second hand store. One of my seventh grade students made fun of me for wearing the same pants often. These poor black kids are mean when it comes to things like that. They also comment on the female teachers’ bodies. Only girls do this - the boys pretty much ignore us. As a white teacher in an all black school I am somewhat invisible. To the older black men though I’m attractive and they are very nice and gentlemanly. In my neighborhood I get a lot of “You’re looking lovely today” and “Your husband is a lucky man.” Never anything rude or disrespectful. As a woman who has always preferred older smart men I know that wearing glasses has been an asset. Especially in my thirties when I was dating men thirty years older, I think the glasses and the fact that I was smart gave them a way to not feel too awkward about the age difference. As I get older I’m grateful that I’ve worn sunscreen all my life and stayed active. I love aging. People don’t assume I slept my way into things anymore so I can actually do it! (Not that I do of course!). I find it easier to be older. I can still get male attention all I want but my looks are not a barrier to being taken seriously. And if there are any smart Hebrew speaking single men in Philadelphia who are David fans - that would be great!
To your initial comment, I can only say "Baruch Hashem."
Thanks for the comment April.
I know some people in Philly who travel in the smart, literary, Jewish circles, so you can always email me and I can make an intro. robertsdavidn@gmail.com
I once employed a beauty editor and presided over service pieces on minor cosmetic procedures. Those were relatively innocent times. Belonging in that environment required no more than makeup and a fresh pedicure. Now I can’t have pedicures for medical reasons. I can happily do without cosmetic surgery. Where I go, it’s not a badge of belonging. But I do miss that flash of color on my toes. Btw, I loved “the Vermeer of veneers.”
Very interesting - and sad to know that I might be one of those people that just when I have the right beauty procedure done - it will be no longer in vogue!!!
Wait a minute. I must argue with an element of this writing. In some respects beauty augmentation is more accessible than ever and more affordable. Take Miami for example. Breast implants and work on the rear-end are so common that one is surprised in certain areas when they are absent. Prices have dropped dramatically and the middle and lower class partake more than ever. I know this because at one point I looked into a roll-up of plastic surgery centers run by this guy called, believe it or not, Doctor Miami. I was amazed to learn the amount of discretionary income that middle class people devoted to cosmetic surgery. Now, if you are talking about ultra high end stuff like micro needling and so on then it is true that wealthier folks have a better opportunity than others, although less and less. Other than that another great writing.
Laura's point is consistent with that. Obvious augmentation used to be a marker of status but since it's now commodified and easily available it has ceased to be. In fact, it might be the reverse. In Laura's words, "traceless transformation" is now what everyone seeks. For that you need a lot of money and referrals as to where to go.
I think you are misinformed about the accessibility of such things to the lower class. Unless someone else is paying for it, a poor person cannot afford cosmetic surgery.
I'm about to go on a rant about that term "lower class". I'm inclined to agree with you that it should be recognized as a slur for "poor" but the people using it, if you question them, generally think "lower class" starts well above the poverty line, somewhere in blue collar territory, or they may even include white collar workers who don't have postgraduate degrees and don't have managerial responsibility -- unless they are creatives going through the "starving artist" phase of their careers. It all highlights the chaos and denial characteristic of America's supposedly non-existent social class structure.
The notion of the ever changing bar for attainable beauty for the masses - can be taught at an early age - "The Sneetches" by Dr Seuss.
A metaphorical tale about greed, vanity and class discrimination.
It describes how a businessman Sylvester McMonkey McBean creates a machine that put stars upon the bellies of the masses (plain Sneetches - dinosaur like creatures) and another to take the stars off the bellies of the already star augmented Sneetch (the higher classes) once the lower classes attain stardom.
He profits either way ( "star upon thars" or not) everyone is unsatisfied and he walks away happy and wealthy.
Thanks for citing one of the true pop culture masterpieces of our time. It also works quite well as a comment on racism, at least according to the scores of black and brown kids I showed it to in my classroom over the years.
I once read an article on Substack, I don't remember who wrote it, writing about teeth and how the care of them is often neglected because of the cost, and how that affects not only your health but your upward mobility. And I remember the British husband of a friend complaining about the cost of braces for their two kids, saying it wasn't really needed, while my friend and I countered 'in this country, it is!'
My husband has had teeth issue, due to bite issues. He always wondered why people loved steak, as he always found it hard to chew. Luckily, one day his regular dentist was out and a new dentist looked at his mouth and told him his teeth were wearing away because of his bite, and that's why he had difficulty chewing. He went to dentists twice a year his entire life and not one dentist noticed. This lead to the old fashioned braces as an adult (pre Invisalign) and nightly retainer wearing, followed years later by Invisalign because his teeth continued to shift. And let's not talk about the gum issues.
I think our teeth look 'normal straightened', as opposed to 'noticeably improved'. I occasionally do Crest Whitestrips until the sensitivity starts happening. We put extra money in our dental savings plan every year, use it up and still spend more. And we are fortunate to be able to do so.
I was a failed orthodontist patient and my teeth were crooked and yellow. I probably thought they were worse than they were but my perception led me to never want to smile or if I did, to smile with my lips closed. It definitely affected my confidence. so when my friend suggested it to me––he had it done––I jumped at the chance.
My dentist is very high end but he and his colleagues do free dental work for the indigent, which is just a terrific way to give back. They'll have a weekend every now and then where they'll operate a very high end free clinic.
David, I look forward to everything you write but I almost stopped cold when I got to $70,000 for veneers by Vermeer. Not because of the reference to the painter (love that!) but because $70k is such a huge amount of money to admit to spending on a cosmetic procedure. That same amount would just about cover a one-year tuition for a grandchild to attend a private school, right?! This sounds judgy, I know, but I can’t repress my surprise, and discomfort, that you’d tell us. What didn’t you like about your teeth? Were they crooked (surely you wore braces as a child)? Stained? Something else? Bottom line, I guess I’m as critical of a man getting an obvious, overly expensive cosmetic alteration as I am of a woman getting plumped lips or bulging cheeks.
I was a failed orthodontist patient and my teeth were crooked and yellow. I probably thought they were worse than they were but my perception led me to never want to smile or if I did, to smile with my lips closed. It definitely affected my confidence. so when my friend suggested it to me––he had it done––I jumped at the chance.
My dentist is very high end but he and his colleagues do free dental work for the indigent, which is just a terrific way to give back. They'll have a weekend every now and then where they'll operate a very high end free clinic.
However, it was a luxury and when I had it done it probably was equal in then current dollars to a tuition to a private school. I felt that I couldn't write about this topic without disclosing that I had done this.
My dentist tries really hard to make the veneers non obvious. They are not all white and have some irregular shape to them. I don't know whether that's better or worse to disclose.
yes, and, there will likely be a backlash against all the augmentation of the past decade, resulting in an elevation of natural beauty at any age as the highest of standards. after all, the most valued is always beyond what even the greatest wealth can buy.
As a boomer, I have watched styles oscillate between valuing the (seemingly) natural and valuing obviously artificial looks that take a great deal of effort. It's a matter of whether societal emphasis is currently on the authentic/phony distinction or the hardworking/lazy one. This, too, shall pass.
also… being a humanitarian who believes in the rights of all people to have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, THAT is the most attractive trait by far, and always will be.
this is the new beauty standard: a mind that bends towards justice.
it’s happening. that is what women want, and it is what the mothers of the world require.
My dentist is a master. When I called him the “Vermeer of Veneers,” I added that “I bet you get that often.”
He said I was the first ever to make that pun. Evidence that I don’t always read the room well.
I was thinking recently that true innovation in art is connecting things that have not yet been connected and that is why AI will never be able to produce profound art because it only recycles what has been said before.
You can be lonely being original, but I don't think it's a question of "reading the room.”
ps. you can fool the eye into seeing genetic traits that are actually not there but the senses know… the dna does not hold the augmentation. it’s all illusion, and that’s not sexy.
The question: Will beauty standards for men follow the rise in beauty standards for women? It seems likely to me. What did you think about that?
If celebrity appearance heads "downstream" to drive everyone else's striving for appearance, then just compare male action hero bodies today to twenty years ago. I think the "game" is on and I think it's not a good development as men subject themselves to another area of invidious comparison.
The notion of the "Metrosexual" is urban area of the US seems to me to be more of a thing than ever, wherein hetero men are basically bootlegging large parts of what gay men have been utilizing for decades. Think "Queer eye for the straight guy."
As a former Acupuncturist, I was once utterly skeptical of both expensive beauty treatments--facial rejuvenation methods, primarily--and astoundingly expensive Chinese herbal therapies to rejuvenate vitality. Especially male *sexual* vitality. My earlier assumption was that the very wealthy, or those who would scrimp and save to afford such opulence, were just willingly deluding themselves.
As a clinician, I doubted whether fresh farm-grown ginseng at $1/gram was any less effective than Wild Korean Cheongam--that can and routinely does fetch $500,000 a pound. But several experiments with simple formulas composed of such prestige-level herbs soundly convinced me otherwise. The rich; in this case Asian rich, really can have more. I'm still trying to figure out if I should be jealous.
Thanks for the comment. Wild Korean Chenogam––I have to ask is that like a natural Viagra?
Yes, but only when combined with other herbs. Like Dong Chong Xia Cao ($2,000/lb and up), Lu Rong deer antler ($50/gram and up). These are the "superstars" of TCM that can and are regularly teamed with a few other ordinary ($50/lb) herbs for optimal effect. You can actually source all these goodies in NYC Chinatown. If you have the money.
But you'll need an experienced herbalist/acupuncturist on retainer (i.e., one with an elite clientele) to make sure you get the right stuff, in the right proportions, in the right frequency. To optimize outcome, and avoid mistakes. Winging it on your own...not advised.
I've seen some suggestion that extreme body building for teen boys is becoming the equivalent of eating disorders in teen girls - unhealthy and dangerous. In my extended family, I see the Gen Z generation males are far more into their appearance than I remember my male cousins being. Of course, my cousins were not online - to get tips on improving one's looks in that era, one had to purchase magazines in the grocery or drugstore.
Thanks Holly. Another commenter made the point that body obsession in boys is not as discussed as it is for girls and so perhaps adults are therefore not as watchful for it.
Have you read R. S. Benedict's 2021 essay "Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny"? It's directly relevant to this topic.
Thanks Joan. I'll check it out.
https://bloodknife.com/everyone-beautiful-no-one-horny/
Interesting piece. I see a lot of “overdone” women in Scottsdale where I live part-time. I’m part of the midwestern snowbird crowd that, while caring about how we look, haven’t succumbed to the extreme efforts of a group sometimes referred to as the “Scottsdale blondes.” These women seem to emulate Barbie - but at the average age of 60. Starting with hair and eyelash extensions that look anything but natural, to massively injected lips and cheek filler that to me looks more like chipmunks than natural cheekbones. Then there’s the bodies… starved to a size 0 but with at least a DD bra size, and Pilates toned with a year round tan. I’m sure these women exist in parts of Florida and California as well - and to be fair, it’s not a huge percentage. They just stand out… all this to say, yes, people are free to do what they want to their bodies and with their money and some procedures look more natural than others (often due to the provider’s guidance.) What I don’t understand is why people clearly want to look like they’ve had “work done” - is that the status symbol? I can afford to get work done?
I think looking like you had work done was the old standard. Now the standard seems to be getting work done so it's not at all obvious. That costs more money to do. It's Laura's phrase of "traceless transformation."
To have work done that is obvious no longer confers status. It's sort of like the quiet luxury in clothing. You want to signal but only to an "in" group. We all live in middle school forever!
True… even in the assisted living facilities… it never ends.
I was amused by this comment, because years ago when I was in my late 20s, my husband suggested I should wear eye make-up in such a way that I looked like I had no make-up on. I took that to its natural conclusion and decided not to wear make-up at all. I used lipstick for a few years and then gave that up too. He is completely happy with my decision (although he does think, once in awhlle...) I am WYSIWYG from top to bottom. Luckily, I inherited very good skin. But it suits my personality - very straightforward, in case you hadn't noticed, as well as my sense that my money and time would be better spent in other ways.
Thanks Ann. I'm proud that I deciphered your acronym. That's very funny about your husband's comment!
I thought everyone knew it - it was all the rage in the early days of personal computers, although I have no idea why. I really wasn't wishing to befuddle you, but congratulations for working it out.
While I don’t see women like that in Toronto, I was once criticized by an Asian sales person at a cosmetics counter for looking at a tinted moisturizer that matched my skin tone. In her mind, Asian women tend to buy products at least a couple of shades lighter. She backed down as soon as I opened my mouth. My accent said it all: “this gal is Canadian.” She was Mandarin speaking based on her accent.
Thanks Cynthia. That's a fascinating example of very finely coded cultural signaling.
I think we should all just free ourselves and be ugly. Great piece!
My Style? The world should just be glad I put clothes on.
Yes!!!!! It’s like the worst thing in the world right now is to be ugly. The reality is 80% of the world is ugly!!! If we were to run a deferred matching algorithm on every man and woman on earth based solely on attractiveness the reality is everyone would be matched to exactly their level of attractiveness. Nowadays, everyone thinks they are entitled to and deserve attractiveness!!! Why is it something we should deserve? Why are we entitled to it?? And why is it sooooo horrible to be ugly?? So exhausting
Men think they're entitled to beauty; we ladies are much more forgiving of mens' physical imperfections...
Why not just be beautiful instead?
Cause it’s easier and cheaper to be ugly. Did you read the piece?
For those of us who are naturally beautiful, it's easy to be beautiful. So just be beautiful instead. And yes, of course I read the piece.
Well lucky you, where’s your profile pic miss naturally beautiful?
It's on all of my social media profiles. I'm sorry you don't like how you look. Maybe get a makeover? Or a better attitude? The better attitude is free ..
Lol ok girl!
I love this post ! I don’t know about beauty standards for men - I always liked the smart Jewish men no matter what they looked like and these days all a guy has to do is speak Hebrew and I’ll think he’s hot. But I may be unusual. I know that as someone who is not rich I deal with things like not being able to fix two slightly chipped front teeth and not being able to afford a lot of clothes. As a teacher I just cycle through pants and skirts I got cheap on Amazon and shirts I got at a second hand store. One of my seventh grade students made fun of me for wearing the same pants often. These poor black kids are mean when it comes to things like that. They also comment on the female teachers’ bodies. Only girls do this - the boys pretty much ignore us. As a white teacher in an all black school I am somewhat invisible. To the older black men though I’m attractive and they are very nice and gentlemanly. In my neighborhood I get a lot of “You’re looking lovely today” and “Your husband is a lucky man.” Never anything rude or disrespectful. As a woman who has always preferred older smart men I know that wearing glasses has been an asset. Especially in my thirties when I was dating men thirty years older, I think the glasses and the fact that I was smart gave them a way to not feel too awkward about the age difference. As I get older I’m grateful that I’ve worn sunscreen all my life and stayed active. I love aging. People don’t assume I slept my way into things anymore so I can actually do it! (Not that I do of course!). I find it easier to be older. I can still get male attention all I want but my looks are not a barrier to being taken seriously. And if there are any smart Hebrew speaking single men in Philadelphia who are David fans - that would be great!
To your initial comment, I can only say "Baruch Hashem."
Thanks for the comment April.
I know some people in Philly who travel in the smart, literary, Jewish circles, so you can always email me and I can make an intro. robertsdavidn@gmail.com
Thank you ! I sent email.
I am truly stunned this got seven likes
I once employed a beauty editor and presided over service pieces on minor cosmetic procedures. Those were relatively innocent times. Belonging in that environment required no more than makeup and a fresh pedicure. Now I can’t have pedicures for medical reasons. I can happily do without cosmetic surgery. Where I go, it’s not a badge of belonging. But I do miss that flash of color on my toes. Btw, I loved “the Vermeer of veneers.”
Thanks for the comment Rona. I have spousal mandated pedicures every few months.
Very interesting - and sad to know that I might be one of those people that just when I have the right beauty procedure done - it will be no longer in vogue!!!
Thanks Nicole for the comment. The standards are always going to be aspirational!
Wait a minute. I must argue with an element of this writing. In some respects beauty augmentation is more accessible than ever and more affordable. Take Miami for example. Breast implants and work on the rear-end are so common that one is surprised in certain areas when they are absent. Prices have dropped dramatically and the middle and lower class partake more than ever. I know this because at one point I looked into a roll-up of plastic surgery centers run by this guy called, believe it or not, Doctor Miami. I was amazed to learn the amount of discretionary income that middle class people devoted to cosmetic surgery. Now, if you are talking about ultra high end stuff like micro needling and so on then it is true that wealthier folks have a better opportunity than others, although less and less. Other than that another great writing.
Laura's point is consistent with that. Obvious augmentation used to be a marker of status but since it's now commodified and easily available it has ceased to be. In fact, it might be the reverse. In Laura's words, "traceless transformation" is now what everyone seeks. For that you need a lot of money and referrals as to where to go.
I think you are misinformed about the accessibility of such things to the lower class. Unless someone else is paying for it, a poor person cannot afford cosmetic surgery.
I'm about to go on a rant about that term "lower class". I'm inclined to agree with you that it should be recognized as a slur for "poor" but the people using it, if you question them, generally think "lower class" starts well above the poverty line, somewhere in blue collar territory, or they may even include white collar workers who don't have postgraduate degrees and don't have managerial responsibility -- unless they are creatives going through the "starving artist" phase of their careers. It all highlights the chaos and denial characteristic of America's supposedly non-existent social class structure.
The notion of the ever changing bar for attainable beauty for the masses - can be taught at an early age - "The Sneetches" by Dr Seuss.
A metaphorical tale about greed, vanity and class discrimination.
It describes how a businessman Sylvester McMonkey McBean creates a machine that put stars upon the bellies of the masses (plain Sneetches - dinosaur like creatures) and another to take the stars off the bellies of the already star augmented Sneetch (the higher classes) once the lower classes attain stardom.
He profits either way ( "star upon thars" or not) everyone is unsatisfied and he walks away happy and wealthy.
Great lesson for 7 year olds !!!! ;))
Wow, that fits Laura's narrative so well. Thanks Wendy.
If I ever write something under a pseudonym, I'd like to use the name Sylvester McMonkey McBean!
Thanks for citing one of the true pop culture masterpieces of our time. It also works quite well as a comment on racism, at least according to the scores of black and brown kids I showed it to in my classroom over the years.
I once read an article on Substack, I don't remember who wrote it, writing about teeth and how the care of them is often neglected because of the cost, and how that affects not only your health but your upward mobility. And I remember the British husband of a friend complaining about the cost of braces for their two kids, saying it wasn't really needed, while my friend and I countered 'in this country, it is!'
My husband has had teeth issue, due to bite issues. He always wondered why people loved steak, as he always found it hard to chew. Luckily, one day his regular dentist was out and a new dentist looked at his mouth and told him his teeth were wearing away because of his bite, and that's why he had difficulty chewing. He went to dentists twice a year his entire life and not one dentist noticed. This lead to the old fashioned braces as an adult (pre Invisalign) and nightly retainer wearing, followed years later by Invisalign because his teeth continued to shift. And let's not talk about the gum issues.
I think our teeth look 'normal straightened', as opposed to 'noticeably improved'. I occasionally do Crest Whitestrips until the sensitivity starts happening. We put extra money in our dental savings plan every year, use it up and still spend more. And we are fortunate to be able to do so.
Thanks Pam.
I was a failed orthodontist patient and my teeth were crooked and yellow. I probably thought they were worse than they were but my perception led me to never want to smile or if I did, to smile with my lips closed. It definitely affected my confidence. so when my friend suggested it to me––he had it done––I jumped at the chance.
My dentist is very high end but he and his colleagues do free dental work for the indigent, which is just a terrific way to give back. They'll have a weekend every now and then where they'll operate a very high end free clinic.
David, I look forward to everything you write but I almost stopped cold when I got to $70,000 for veneers by Vermeer. Not because of the reference to the painter (love that!) but because $70k is such a huge amount of money to admit to spending on a cosmetic procedure. That same amount would just about cover a one-year tuition for a grandchild to attend a private school, right?! This sounds judgy, I know, but I can’t repress my surprise, and discomfort, that you’d tell us. What didn’t you like about your teeth? Were they crooked (surely you wore braces as a child)? Stained? Something else? Bottom line, I guess I’m as critical of a man getting an obvious, overly expensive cosmetic alteration as I am of a woman getting plumped lips or bulging cheeks.
Thanks Debbie. I'm copying my reply above:
I was a failed orthodontist patient and my teeth were crooked and yellow. I probably thought they were worse than they were but my perception led me to never want to smile or if I did, to smile with my lips closed. It definitely affected my confidence. so when my friend suggested it to me––he had it done––I jumped at the chance.
My dentist is very high end but he and his colleagues do free dental work for the indigent, which is just a terrific way to give back. They'll have a weekend every now and then where they'll operate a very high end free clinic.
However, it was a luxury and when I had it done it probably was equal in then current dollars to a tuition to a private school. I felt that I couldn't write about this topic without disclosing that I had done this.
My dentist tries really hard to make the veneers non obvious. They are not all white and have some irregular shape to them. I don't know whether that's better or worse to disclose.
perfect reply!
As always, so smart and thoughtful. At times, I definitely feel the pressure. Not for extremes, just "The Basics" of this modern age!
Thanks Jane!
yes, and, there will likely be a backlash against all the augmentation of the past decade, resulting in an elevation of natural beauty at any age as the highest of standards. after all, the most valued is always beyond what even the greatest wealth can buy.
As a boomer, I have watched styles oscillate between valuing the (seemingly) natural and valuing obviously artificial looks that take a great deal of effort. It's a matter of whether societal emphasis is currently on the authentic/phony distinction or the hardworking/lazy one. This, too, shall pass.
also… being a humanitarian who believes in the rights of all people to have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, THAT is the most attractive trait by far, and always will be.
this is the new beauty standard: a mind that bends towards justice.
it’s happening. that is what women want, and it is what the mothers of the world require.
My dentist is a master. When I called him the “Vermeer of Veneers,” I added that “I bet you get that often.”
He said I was the first ever to make that pun. Evidence that I don’t always read the room well.
I was thinking recently that true innovation in art is connecting things that have not yet been connected and that is why AI will never be able to produce profound art because it only recycles what has been said before.
You can be lonely being original, but I don't think it's a question of "reading the room.”
Thanks Kathleen. It seemed so obvious to me because I "play" with words all the time. Great point about connecting disparate things.
Further thought. Since dentistry is a STEM field, he may not have known who Vermeer is.
ps. you can fool the eye into seeing genetic traits that are actually not there but the senses know… the dna does not hold the augmentation. it’s all illusion, and that’s not sexy.
HAHA “Vermeer of Veneers." David you've got a highbrow sense of humor I love it.