In certain sports, a “degree of difficulty” is used to judge skill and to award points. The difficulty of a type of dive or a figure skating maneuver, or in fantasy football the length of a field goal. The criteria for these judgments are not always perfectly objective, but they come close.
In life, there are no set criteria about one’s degree of difficulty, but the concept is still valid and essential to self-knowledge.
I remember being quite young (less than ten) when my grandfather asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My grandmother and parents were also in the room. Having no idea, I said, “An Ambassador,” confident that my boyhood image of such a person (medals, monocle, mustache) would be sufficiently distinguished to impress my family.
My grandmother shook her head. She was underwhelmed. She knew, as I did not, that the role of most modern ambassadorships had become largely ceremonial. In fact, she scoffed at my lowly ambition and declared that if I wanted to go in that direction, the only suitable role to aim for was Secretary of State.
I tell that story to show that I grew up in a family that expected me to aspire to, if not reach, great heights in whatever I did. A realistic expectation, because I was going to benefit from significant advantages of financial, social, and intellectual capital. In many of the important areas of life, my degree of difficulty would be quite low. And so it has been. This realization has increased as I’ve grown older and learned more about both myself and the world. And it lies at the root of many of the beliefs I’ve formed.
Politically, it’s certainly made me more “liberal.” It’s given me great respect for those who didn’t have my advantages and who had to face obstacles I never had to face. If they were able to thrive, I consider them to be heroic. If they didn’t thrive, if they were defeated by the circumstances of their struggle, my bias is to hold them blameless.
This is particularly true of those born into poverty and have been unable to escape. In addition to their outcomes, I believe that their values and behavior are often warped by the circumstances of their lives–––all the ills and obstacles that come with poverty, including limited access to healthcare and education and insecurity of safety, food, and housing.
My use of the word “thrive,” is purposefully different than attaining material success. A person can thrive in many different ways, although financial success is the easiest thing to measure, like looking for lost keys at night only under the light of the lamppost (pre iPhone flashlight).
Hence, the 2019 poll reprinted below on what causes wealth and poverty. I place myself on the “Strong Liberal” side, keeping in mind that I believe all the causes of wealth and poverty listed on both sides of the page are relevant.
I imagine many of the people on the “Strong Conservative” side of the page are, like me, influenced by their own experiences. They may recognize in themselves the traits of hard work, ambition, etc. They may think that people with similar starting backgrounds but worse outcomes have suffered mainly from poor life choices. I may not share that point of view, but I understand and respect it.
I have another bias. I believe certain values are much easier and less costly to inculcate, acquire, and carry with you for life when you are born and raised with advantages. Among these values are integrity and generosity, gratitude and humility. I can easily understand and accept an advantaged person who does not capitalize on their advantages. Luck, in my view, plays such a big role in life. However, It’s hard for me to accept people born with advantages who have turned against these values that should have been so easy for them to embrace. Instead, if they are dishonest and uncharitable, ungrateful and boastful in both word and deed, I am repulsed.
Which leads me, as day follows night, to the underpinning of what some might call my “Trump Derangement Syndrome.” To me, Trump embodies all the worst values. And for that, I hold him in unmitigated contempt, because he grew up with a set of advantages greater than almost anyone I know, including myself.
So, I have a blind spot in understanding how Trump’s advantaged supporters can look past his sordid values.
I’ll end with a quote from “Five Days,”a book my friend Wes Moore wrote about the 2015 Baltimore riots set off after the police killed a young man named Freddie Gray in circumstances best described as murder. Freddie was born in poverty with every disadvantage under the sun, including extended hospitalization after birth from an addicted mother, followed when taken home by severe lead poisoning from the tenement he grew up in.
When the police killed Freddie in 2015, Wes had already achieved a heady amount of success as a soldier, an author, and a social enterprise entrepreneur. Below are Wes’s thoughts after attending Freddie Gray’s funeral and as he was flying to a conference where he was to be celebrated for his accomplishments.
“…after being raised by a single mother and coming of age in Baltimore and the Bronx, I was being presented as a “success story.” My story let people believe that individual effort could overcome obstacles, so they wouldn’t have to think too hard about the systems, structures, and policies that make stories like mine so rare.”
That resonates with me, because it’s such a nuanced thought. Wes earned his success on the “Strong Conservative Side” of the ledger––hard work, ambition, self-discipline, and risk-taking. Yet he was concerned that his success would translate into people attributing the root causes of poverty to personal choices or personal failures, something he flatly rejects.
Even before birth, none of us have a blank slate. Every circumstance, every event, every relationship in some way, big or small, influences our opinions.
Understanding that can be liberating.
Really nice put-together statement. My brother and I, raised with the same privileges, turned in opposite directions politically: I strong liberal, he strong conservative. And we baffle each other!
you have never heard of genetics then? it is interesting.