113 Comments

An excellent writing. One thing that bothers me is that people are allowing this bizarre murder to rise to some level of political commentary. Instead, one should treat this as a psychotic break devoid of political significance. Those experiencing a psychotic break might focus on any subject, substituting a faux grievance for madness.

Expand full comment

That’s my belief too. He’s at the right age for schizophrenia to take hold. Supposedly he experimented with psychedelics, which can trigger psychotic episodes for schizophrenics.

Expand full comment

I wondered about this too. I wouldn't be surprised if he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

Expand full comment

Maybe.

But from a purely political lense, even Robin hood was a cop-killer.

Having billed insurance as a medical provider for 25 years, they skate just to the right of outright fraud, and are incredibly frustrating to work with. Although united Healthcare was considerably better in that regard.

Expand full comment

I wondered the same thing — he's about the right age for mental illness to take hold. Whatever the reason for his actions, they have had heartbreaking consequences for so many people. And they've sparked an important discussion. Both things can be true. Both are true.

Expand full comment

Mental illness doesn’t discriminate based on income levels. Physical pain can affect mental health to the point of personality change and unthinkable actions. Based on the amount of information we have about Luigi, his background and his back pain - it’s not hard to imagine a mental breakdown. How can a third generation destroy what was built decades ago by the patriarch? Is their name mud because a grandchild snapped for whatever reason? Just things to ponder as mental illness and poor character can emerge in any family lineage. This is such a sad story for both the victim and perpetrators family.

Expand full comment

I agree that some of this is random. Normally, one of many grandchildren doing something terrible might not have such an effect but this is a special case because of the enormous amount of publicity.

Expand full comment

Thx 👍👍

Expand full comment

The curse / pressure of a name... don't I know it! Thanks for inspiring a future post.

This was a fascinating, thought-provoking read about a gripping news story. It's interesting to hear a grandfather's perspective.

In Britain, that primogeniture tradition has not worked out so well for some aristocratic families I've known. A few notorious firstborns have squandered the lot and left everyone stately homeless, deprived and / or penniless.

Your family's way of doing things sounds much more fair and sensible.

Expand full comment

Thanks Petra. I suppose if a family has one older son somewhere in the chain, everything can be broken. That does make the whole legacy thing more fragile.

Expand full comment

In 2024, it might be reasonably said that wealth alone complicates legacy.

Expand full comment

It has been reported that Luigi’s grandmother’s will excludes family members who commit felonies, specifically violent crimes. https://nypost.com/2024/12/12/us-news/luigi-mangiones-grandma-left-family-30-million-in-will/

Expand full comment

Thanks Kalee. I hadn't seen that story.

Expand full comment

I wonder how the news would have characterized this kid if he was black or brown.

Expand full comment

So different of course. And that's a worthwhile thought experiment.

Expand full comment

In my former life, I was a public defender. I know exactly how young brown & black men are viewed. Nobody is breathlessly recounting their handsomeness, their struggles, or their pain. And, to address the point of your essay, the families of defendants are vilified, their parenting is demeaned, and they are written off as a bad bloodline. Poor people’s communities can be incredibly tightly-knit, and everyone knows you’re the mom/sister/girlfriend of a murderer. It shatters all families, not just the rich ones.

Expand full comment

This is a great essay on family ethics regardless of whether considerable wealth is or isn't achieved. And Luigi destroying his life by taking the life of a wealthy father of two children is so tragic. Forensically what are the physical and mental factors that enabled or caused an uncontrollable descent into madness with the warped destructive decision taken that ending another's life can become (to those sufficiently angry enough) socially acceptable if done for a supposedly good cause? Which is another way of perceiving how tragic when some people can accept the commission of a homicide as a corrective for a social ill or corporate healthcare malpractice. Such a warped viewpoint has to be logically considered a form of madness or severe anger management incapability.

Expand full comment

Thanks Larry for the comment. I think as more is known, Luigi's heroic stature will likely diminish. As it should.

Expand full comment

The same way families do or do not pass down generational wealth, they do or do not pass down a sense of connection to the family that comes before and the family that comes after, as they do or do not pass down a sense of responsibility to the universe beyond the family. Your true blessing was that your family passed down all three. And since there's absolutely no guarantee that what is passed down will survive the passing, what you have done is a great compliment to your family and you. Your instincts are correct - protect that gene pool!

Expand full comment

Sam, super insightful and well put.

Expand full comment

...many bad things I didn't do, I didn't do them because that would make my anscestors "turn in their graves". Many, I didn't do (or did do), because of my kids.

It had nothing to do with wealth, because, well, ours is a very different family history (with some exceptions -but those mostly left in the beginning of 19 th century)

It has to do with feeling very strongly you're just a part, a link. in some very long chain. You're not always able to be a beacon of light, you're you, and things happen to you, and you happen to them.

But you try really hard not to break that chain, and not to mar it excessively.

It's not the only reason , of course -but it is a strong one. Helps surviving too, I must say. At least spiritually.

Thank you, as always, for the essay, David

Expand full comment

Thanks Chen. I agree with your sentiments, so well put.

Expand full comment

There’s zero wealth in any generational direction in my family, but the supreme satisfaction of my life is in the essential goodness of my two children. That matters to me more than anything else ever could. It would utterly break my heart if my children or grandchildren went wrong, but it’s certainly possible for any of us, given certain circumstances. Any one of us is capable of doing terrible things, given enough pain, pressure, desperation, mental difficulties, etc. One assumes wealth mitigates some of this — rich people don’t need to steal a loaf of bread from hunger — but not entirely. It’s occurred to me that every single one of us has murderers among our ancestors if we go back far enough — we just don’t know it, usually. Every single one of us likely will have a terrible descendant, someday. We can pass our values to our children and grandchildren, but after that, our influence fades. We are just a memory or legend (or cautionary tale!) after a couple generations.

In the two families with significant generational wealth I know well, the grandparents would likely look at the current generation’s behavior with horror.

Expand full comment

Perhaps it's good that our "view" is limited to a few generations in either direction. I do have a bias to excuse behavior from removed generations above me as being less relevant. Thanks Michelle for your comment.

Expand full comment

I read somewhere that sea change refers to what happens to a body after it's been in saltwater a good long time—bloated, unrecognizable. Thus, sea change means a drastic change for the worse. I also remember hearing that Irish fishermen had a distinctive cable sweater pattern for every village so that if a drowned body was washed ashore, at least they could return it to the right village.

https://s.turbifycdn.com/aah/yhst-1043143-1/men-s-irish-cable-knitted-wool-sweater-14.png

That thought takes me to the memory of my visit to a small Catholic Church along the Normandy coast of France. The church was full of memorials of a sad type. Every boat lost at sea got a banner hung from the rafters, and every fisherman drowned got his name carved into the wall. Tough club to join.

I'm glad you considered the possibility of economic constraints to Luigi's getting adequate medical care. Obviously, he cut himself off from his family—they hadn't heard from him for months. One assumes if they could send him to Penn, they could pay for medical care. My guess was that he was just too proud to ask.

Expand full comment

or possibly his mental illness precluded him from believing he was the one who needed help?

Expand full comment

That's so interesting about the cable sweaters and the grisly purpose for the distinctions.

Expand full comment

I always like your writing and sharing your self reflection. But I hope you might rethink this statement: If one of my children brought home a Mangione relative as a possible marriage partner, my reaction, irrational but real, would be negative. I would not want my DNA mixed with theirs.

Expand full comment

That was the one sentence that didn’t seem to fit with all the other reflections in this exquisite essay. Yet, I saw that your awareness of your reaction - ‘while irrational’ shows curiosity, and possibly a willingness to broaden your relationship to the circumstance if that indeed came to pass. Perhaps compassion for your child and compassion for who they love?

Again, I appreciate the thoughtfulness in this essay

Expand full comment

A much more gracious reply than mine!

Expand full comment

Alice, I wouldn’t have replied if it hadn’t been for your reply, so thank you right back!

Expand full comment

I understand your reaction. And it was a harsh and unfair sentiment. And maybe with some time I wouldn't feel that way. I think it has very much to do with all the publicity and thus an anticipation of embarrassment. Thanks Alice and James for your comments.

Expand full comment

David, one of the things about Substack is you can’t edit a comment.

And one of the things I thought after I posted it is that that sentence DID belong in your essay because it was exactly how you felt.

And further, the fact that you were relating to how you felt showed your true character which really landed on me in a heartfelt way. And much like you expressed, if I were in the same circumstance, my feeling is that I would have the same initial reaction as you.

Again, thank you for such a thought-provoking, beautiful essay.

Expand full comment

Interestingly, David, this discussion about that comment of yours goes to the heart of your whole essay. It would be wrong to judge or disfavor some other member of the family because of what Luigi has done -- yet people do respond emotionally, irrationally to many difficult circumstances, and there is no doubt, as you posit from the start, that this event will now stain the family name, be part of its recorded history. You acknowledge at the end that there might be some less positive elements to your forbearers' legacy, but you construct for yourself a narrative that enables you to integrate the full history in a way you can honor. That's what we all try to do with the very mixed human legacy.

Expand full comment

Oddly I noticed and quite liked that sentence, not because I agreed with the sentiment (I don't, in case that needs clarifying!) but because it felt like the kind of unguarded remark that gave a real insight into what it might actually feel like to be someone in David's position, with a sense of a ‘family legacy’ to protect etc., and how that might shape a person's reactions. Thank you David for your generous openness in sharing these kinds of reflections from your (unusual but fascinating!) perspective.

Expand full comment

That one hit me hard, too, I think because after my now-27-year-old son spent three months in a psychiatric hospital at age 20, because he was suicidal, I worried about his job opportunities and social opportunities once he was healthy, because I hoped more than anything that he would someday be healthy. And it came to pass that he is healthy, and he has been honest about his history with employees and potential girlfriends. One of those potential girlfriends stopped seeing him after the third date, which is when he told her about his mental health history. He was four years out of the hospital then and doing really well, but she was scared. And he was so upset. It was heartbreaking how hurt he was. But we who love him told him, "She's not the right person for you. You are a good person, and you will find someone who understands you and what you went through. And she will be the right person for you." He seems to have found that person now, and we all love her.

Expand full comment

Copying my reply to others about that "notorious" sentence. It made it through the filter.

I understand your reaction. And it was a harsh and unfair sentiment. And maybe with some time I wouldn't feel that way. I think it has very much to do with all the publicity and thus an anticipation of embarrassment. Thanks Alice and James for your comments.

Expand full comment

Harsh, I guess. But understandable. As for unfair, I guess to Luigi's family, yes, but also entirely understandable. You were being honest. As for my son's almost-girlfriend, I was upset for him and mad that she rejected him before she really got to know him, but that was the point I was trying to make to him: that she didn't even know him and if she was willing to dismiss him because of his past and was not willing to get to know him, she wasn't the right person for him. I understood that she was scared of his history. Once upon a time I probably would have been, too had I been in her shoes But I've learned to try to see people within whatever context they were in and are in. Sometimes I'm really good at that. Other times I veer towards being judgmental. I'm human. Most of us are, right?

Expand full comment
7dEdited

i think the issue lays on giving too much importance to genetic configuration, as if the DNA of a criminal could somehow "stain" yours. attitudes and character (good or bad) are transmitted mainly through culture and education, not DNA. also, Mangioni's criminal action was clearly something very unusual especially given his background and heritage, and reducing the blame to something like DNA borders on some kind of ugly genetic determinism way of thinking.

but i understand where your thinking came from and appreciate the transparency to write down what you actually felt at the moment.

Expand full comment

Vicente, I decided to remove that sentence. it was lazy and unnecessary and ill-advised. It should not have made it through my filter Thank you for being a careful reader and for your comment. You and others make me want to continue to improve!

Expand full comment

I notice this comment of David's is sparking a lot of discussion here, and yes - it stuck out, but it also made me think of David's imho very honest comment in the essay about US health care last week (I am from Europe, by the way).

The following sentence struck me as well, but made so much sense and also was very honest. I quote:

¨When I heard “Medicare for All” or “Socialized Medicine” or “National Health Insurance,” my knee jerk, irrational reaction was to think that my privileged healthcare would be taken away."

For me that was a pivotal remark, and made me think of the quote:

¨Equal rights for others, does not mean less rights for you."

Expand full comment

Yes, that's true. Thanks for recalling that prior comment and it goes to show that my knee is still "jerking" from time to time.

Expand full comment

You'll understand if people don't care about the effect of a murder on their reputation. It's interesting that after someone (regardless of how reprehensible) is killed like this, and you concerned yourself with how it affects a family's reputation. Wealth really distorts people's values.

This family got wealthy the same way yours did, by exploiting their workers, and then think they can rehabilitate their reputation by funding a building on and Ivy league school, as though that makes everything okay.

Expand full comment

I have to ask… does accruing wealth always mean exploiting workers??

Expand full comment

usually; it’s the rare case where it doesn’t

Expand full comment

I don't believe that wealth necessarily comes from exploiting workers. that's the central tenet of Marxism. Capitalism combined with cronyism and too lopsided a division of wealth––what we have today––is bad for everyone, including the wealthy and needs reform.

Expand full comment

Wish I could agree but having worked in both profit and non-profit for more than 50 yrs, and before that, witnessing grandparents’ and parents’ employment treatment, I can say from first hand experience that without unions, or the threat thereof, in most, if not all cases, workers have been exploited. I think a deep dive into the historic treatment of laborers in this country would bear me out.

Injecting that this thinking is the basis of “Marxism” doesn’t change the dangers of pure Capitalism.

Your point, “Capitalism combined with cronyism and too lopsided a division of wealth––what we have today––is bad for everyone, including the wealthy and needs reform” should be well headed especially by the wealthy.

Expand full comment

Looks like we agree that the current state of capitalism is dangerous to all parties concerned. Not everyone agrees although we should worry that those who think all is right are the same people who benefit the most from the status quo.

Expand full comment

I don't believe that wealth necessarily comes from exploiting workers. that's the central tenet of Marxism. Capitalism combined with cronyism and too lopsided a division of wealth––what we have today––is bad for everyone, including the wealthy and needs reform.

Expand full comment

I don't believe that wealth necessarily comes from exploiting workers. that's the central tenet of Marxism. Capitalism combined with cronyism and too lopsided a division of wealth––what we have today––is bad for everyone, including the wealthy and needs reform.

Expand full comment

In accounts of Luigi’s pain, the most afflicting detail is the impossibility of sex—and consequently of finding a life partner, the dominant concern (along with launching a career) at his age. Pain effectively exiled him from adult life. His family had the means to help him and either chose not to or were never asked. Without excusing his actions, I find this unimaginably sad.

Expand full comment

Rona,

I didn't focus on his inability to have a partner. That is sad and i certainly cannot walk in his shoes. So i tried to imagine myself as the patriarch instead and what i might think. Thanks as always for your comment.

Expand full comment

I think this was detailed-out wonderfully and so honestly. Thank you for sharing your truth, breakdown, and opinion on this matter. Always well done.

Expand full comment