113 Comments
May 4Liked by david roberts

Great essay! Glad to see marriage was an enduring institution in your family. May it be so for other families.

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/get-married-brad-wilcox?variant=41546330636322

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by david roberts

It’s interesting to get some insight into generational wealth because my family managed the opposite. Many generations attended Harvard and Yale on legacy admissions; my grandfather got kicked out and lost that advantage for all who followed. He ran his own lab at GWU but was fired over his drinking. Substance abuse is a surefire way to lose all family wealth and my father continued in this tradition, making and subsequently losing much (ironically doing the same for his clients, as he was a wealth fund manager).

I wonder if this is partly why divorce is culturally more frowned upon, it seems, in the upper class: it divides wealth. In a sense, money keeps families together and that, too, can be an advantage — depending on how stable the family is but given the pressure to maintain the wealth, they seem to be more stable than families with much less to lose from instability.

So maybe wealth strengthens family ties and vice versa - a self perpetuating process that, if maintained, concentrates advantage.

Expand full comment
author

Leah, that's an interesting question about divorce, which certainly can divide fortunes. On the other hand, wealth can enable divorce so that both spouses have enough to live on.

Thanks also for sharing your tale of generations past. You're right that substance abuse is another way that fortunes and position are lost.

Expand full comment

This was a great read! I'm glad you told this story. Fascinating how it all fell apart and came together over time ... to me, it all started with that UPenn moment. Education really can change the trajectory. And, then, of course, choices choices choices. I am the only college graduate in my family -- to date. I'm not sure how many generations back that goes ... I don't know of any.

Expand full comment
author

My great grandfather's memoir has a lot about his being shipped off to various nearby towns to study under various rabbis. I infer that his father may have wanted him to become a rabbi. And he certainly became a Jewish leader in his own right. So, education was an important theme from early on.

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by david roberts

Thank you. An interesting read.

Expand full comment

Given that you're downstream of the Block fortune I admit I was trying to figure out how you're related to John Roberts, of the Woodstock festival. An uncle?

I can't say money has created much in the way of schisms in my family but out of everyone in my family I'm the most well off. That is not to say wealthy - I'm lower middle class among a family below the poverty line. So not wealthy enough to really help them the way they need to be helped. Even then I worry about dynamics, like at Christmas time when I'm more generous to people's kids than they are able to be. Stupid stuff that shouldn't worry me because they've never given any indication that it should.

Expand full comment
author

John, or "Jock" as we knew him was my father's younger brother and my uncle as you suspected. I knew him well. He was a terrific guy.

Thanks for the comment.

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by david roberts

Fascinating.

I grew up poor in West Virginia 1950s and 60s. Your experience, of which I've know a few similar people, is beyond my comprehension.

Imagine if your family that immigrated had landed in a small town in the midwest, without the social and cultural surroundings of Brooklyn. It would have been difficult to go to Harvard or Penn.

I am happy for you. Your ancestors took advantage of the opportunities that were presented. They sought-after and risked for opportunity and self development. And instilled some good values down the line it appears.

Carpe diem !

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Doug!

Expand full comment

Appreciate you sharing this David. Have a great weekend!

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by david roberts

It's so great that you have your great grand-father's writing to look back on. What a treasure. My grandmother wrote a journal and I think historically way back there might be bits and pieces here and there by other relatives, but it is so illuminating. And so cool to connect with these strangers from our past.

Expand full comment
author

Deirdre, it really is like they're talking to us through their writing. Thanks for the comment.

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by david roberts

Another interesting installment! Most with money (especially middle-aged or old money) don't really talk about it. You appear to be on a journey, as I mentioned previously. Not sure where you are headed.

I can relate to you in many ways (and not, in some ways, not being wealthy), although in my family lineage on both pat and mat lines, I have serious merchant wealth in the background from the 1800s, Barbados sugar plantation owners on one side, sugar refiners in the UK on the other, and in both cases, I am part of the resulting North American cohort created by changing circumstances in the old world, fortunes lost, emigration to, and re-birth, in the new world. So, personally, I encourage wealth generation, innovation, adding value, and I harbor no resentment for the current wealthy. I say, go for it!

Fairness matters, but so does freedom and prosperity.

Not to mention, that life is not fair, never was, never going to be, and Pareto Distributions are a law of nature and its more effective to accept this and deal with it, rather than deny it.

Unfortunately at home today, our entire country seems to be in the grip of some kind of madness of resentment and grievance and a pathological obsession with wealth redistribution, rather than wealth generation. I pray this changes.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for the comment Steven. I'm trying to figure out the journey as well!

Expand full comment

The name Rottenberg would have made you the butt of mean jokes, so I’m glad you are a Roberts. As for family schisms, they abound in both sides of my family tree. There wasn’t any money to make trouble. Instead we had religious fanaticism, alcoholism and parental favoritism, devastating to sibling relationships.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Rona. I'm sorry to hear about the sibling relationships. Those seem to be an issue in so many families and mine is unfortunately not an exception.

Expand full comment

I should clarify: the current generation is thriving in siblinghood. Previous generations, not so much.

Expand full comment

Have there been any efforts to bridge the Block/Roberts schism in later generations? No need to respond if the story isn’t right for the telling.

Expand full comment
author

My father did reconnect with his Block cousin a few years ago. But now I'd say it's just a drift rather than an ongoing "feud."

Expand full comment

That describes my family as well. A drift after a (generations earlier) rift.

Expand full comment

A fascinating family history, and legacy, David. You're fortunate to have the documentation and keeping the story alive is a gift to your children. So many family stories have been lost or suppressed. Knowing our roots enables a greater understanding and appreciation for who we are and much that has contributed to that beyond genetic influences. My parents both came from farm families, managed to raise themselves to comfortable living standards through hard work and a loving partnership. My first wife's father and mother were doctor and nurse, higher income bracket. My wife now, of 28 years, inherited some family money through a real estate trust, not ginormous but more than enough. Interesting how wealth, or the lack of it, plays a role in family dynamics. Our own children, 7 in total, are all financially independent without any inheritance, all seemingly happy and doing well. I believe what we pass along to our children are two things - one, some of what our parents, and grandparents, gave to us, and two, what we manage to pass along to them besides any financial security. Thanks for sharing your family story, David. We all have those stories that are important parts of our lives

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Gary. i appreciate all your comments and the way you relate your own experience to my posts.

Expand full comment

Fascinating history, David! And thanks for sharing - so many of afraid to delve into these sorts of histories. Bravo!

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by david roberts

Such an interesting family story! Thank you for sharing it so candidly. Any schisms in our extended family, of which there are few, are based on mental health and spiritual beliefs. The schisms are under the radar: some know the radar exists, others are oblivious. Underscores the benefits and repercussions of the decisions one makes, big and small. Thanks for a great read.

Expand full comment
author

Mary, so intriguing about schisms realized by one party but not the other. I suppose that's more common than we think. Your comment has my mind racing around to think about that phenomenon in my own family.

Expand full comment

My story is probably closer to the Great American Story than yours.

Yes, I had an immigrant great grandfather from Germany (late 19th century) who was the oldest of 8 boys in the household and kicked out at age 16, because who could feed 8 hungry teenage boys? Went to New Orleans, set up an import-export company between US, Mexico and Germany with a cousin, was hugely successful, probably aided by some silver-smuggling and gun running, married and settled down to a prosperous life (his house is now a fancy hotel in New Orleans).

BUT, unlike in your family, his son had all sorts of clever entrepreneurial ideas that went wrong (eg arrangements for gas lighting just when electricity came in etc etc) and lost all the family money and became, yes, a travelling salesman. No joke.

My father was planning to go to Europe age 17, but got talked into going to Columbia University (where, by the way, he was a student leader in the late 20s) and then went to work for the New Deal.

So rags to riches to rags again to the professional class, where my family remains, scattered between US and UK academia.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Ann for sharing that history. You are always a generous commenter, and i really appreciate it.

Expand full comment

Fascinating, absolutely FASCINATING! Thanks for sharing - you've given me some new ideas for fictional pieces!

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by david roberts

I find your posts both insightful and thought provoking. My parents, brother, and I just celebrated our 54 year Anniversary of moving to the US. Education was always stressed by my Asian Indian parents as a way to move up the proverbial “ladder”. They are both physicians, my sister and I are lawyers and my brother is a doctor.

My father is Anglo-Indian, his Sri Lankan father changed his last name to Marshall in order to be a more suitable marital prospect for his half Irish girlfriend. (They met and married in Bombay in the early 1920’s)

However, even with an Anglo last name, the color of our hair, eyes and skin clearly identify us as “other”. I grew up in Ohio in the seventies. Not so long after the civil rights movement… racism was alive and well. The impact of ethnicity was and still is a barrier in almost every aspect of wealth accumulation. From getting into schools to landing that first (second, third…) job. Even if your family has the means, and mine did, to afford you the opportunities to go to private schools, vacation at resorts and associate with wealthy families.

Connections matter, but they are based on relationships and people make up relationships. Not surprising, that most people choose to form connections with individuals that have a similar pedigree, religious affiliation or frankly, appearance as they do.

For some us that means we need to figure out different was to achieve “success” since we don’t have a network to leverage.

Expand full comment
author

Venetia, thanks for sharing that history. It is maddening and depressingly unsurprising that despite all your professional achievements, you and your family still encounter a color barrier in aspects of your lives. Do you think that prejudice is less in cities that have a greater mix of backgrounds or do you think it's pervasive across the country?

Expand full comment