I am a survivor. There were times when I SHOULD HAVE died, I've felt the cold chill of the Reaper's scythe as it neared my skin on more than one occasion. But here am I at 65, a perpetual juvenile deliquent, still looking for my unique place in life.
There’s no type of person I love more, than those who are willing to admit the hard truths; those who will sit with the uncomfortableness and the contradictions.
I don’t have a trust fund but I have PRIVILEGE. And I’m the product of expensive private schooling. But I was raised by people who don’t care about money (another privilege) and so I’m often confused about my own feelings toward it.
I think honesty is the best we can offer people. Silence the myths (I’ll have to come up with a list of mine lol) and admit that I started off at the 50 yard line, if not closer...
Privilege is a difficult subject. People who are born into privilege are very lucky. So should they be blamed for circumstances beyond their control? They should be blamed for their attitude and arrogance as adults, if they fail to understand their advantages, or share their good fortune.
We should only be blamed if we do not make the most of our privilege to help as many people as possible, and also influence governments to improve society and provide support, especially for young people.
I did go to a UK private school. The amount of income needed to pay for it nearly 60 years ago was not as high as nowadays. I was privileged because my father could afford to pay, so I went to boarding school, aged five, instead of going into foster care when my parents divorced. Because of my education I have a ‘posh’ accent, which people often mistake for a snobbish attitude. That is their myth.
As the research shows very abundantly, the headstart you get in life makes a huge difference in your life chances and life outcomes. If you were born into a working class family that sent you to a poorly-performing local school system, would you have fared as well? Not likely at all. Hard truth, but there it is.
The problem also is that, at least since the Reagan 1980s, the systems that were set up to support the life chances of the middle and working classes have been systematically undermined and destroyed in favor of the privileged and wealthy. Which means that anyone with pre-existing privilege has benefitted at the expense of others.
Now we have systems that are decimating the life chances of most people in the country. I've visited school systems that don't even have books, supplies, toilet paper, you name it. Many people are coming out of school systems unable to read and write or calculate. What are their life chances?
If you want to make a difference, then I would say do something to help your local school systems. Not the easy way through your synagogue but on your own. Visit and volunteer to help. See what other people's lives are like, especially kids coming up in our crumbling systems right now. It will probably shock you, but I think it will allow you to see that yes, you might have won the lottery in life, but that doesn't mean you can't make a real difference in life helping others and using what God has given you to do real and meaningful good.
It might also help you understand a lot of what's happening in the political sphere. Ditch the mainstream news media, which is useless in understanding anything.
I was a public school teacher for 27 years. I think public schools are the foundation of my internal America: this idea that everyone will be given an education for free and that it will be an education worth having. Of all the ideals that make up America, I think that’s the best one. But, the fairy concept has been under attack almost since its conception.
That said, I don’t blame parents for seeking out private schools for their kids if they can afford it. Private schools are generally better funded, and because they don’t have to take everybody they don’t deal with some of the social issues that public schools do. It can be risky in that those birds only learn how to flock together with birds who I have the same kinds of feathers. But, there have been far fewer shootings in private schools. So the insulation is worth something.
There is so much struggle in this world that I can't imagine that anyone gets the sympathy that they actually deserve. We are so busy trying to do what needs to be done (including giving ourselves downtime), that we do not have the excess capacity to give appropriate attention to the needs of others.
Who do we admire more? The talented athlete who fulfills his potential or the much less talented athlete who struggles to stay on the team?
Dave, I know you have done more than you will ever get credit for. But that's true about just about everyone.
Dave, you get up every morning and continue the good fight. That's more than enough for me. And, BTW, your self-doubt detracts from that effort.
The “new age” philosophy (which is very misunderstood by most) tells us that we are each born to experience life from a given perspective. Sometimes we want great adversity to rise to a different point lace. Sometimes we can’t overcome that adversity, but (believe it or not) our time on this planet is but a flash in the overall scheme. Certain “religions/philosophies” are more helpful than others to show us the path/attitude to deal with this physical existence. (None of it is very clear to us earthlings.) Be grateful for the gifts you’ve been given. (I personally believe I should also try to make the world better - or at l ast not add to the misery.)
That was brave, if you ask me. However, you also made me think, once again, about how we generalize and categorize people. What makes a good story? Well, it’s not usually about the people who aren’t controversial. If you aren’t mean, you haven’t suffered enough, and you are mostly living your life, then you, and others like you, are not the people we love to hate.
Being “privileged” doesn’t automatically make you anything. You are still responsible for your personal behavior, and especially, how you treat others. If you’re well off, have a great family, etc., then good for you. I enjoy your writing, and I will also note, that I cannot ever remember you bragging or coming close to giving the appearance that you are better because of what you have.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I enjoy reading people’s thoughts because everyone is interesting, and often surprising. Don’t worry, David. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and enjoy your life. You’re doing great!
Haha. But you didn't quote Branch Rickey. "Luck is the residue of design." I also believe that an absence of bad luck...which you had...is more important than good luck...which you often made yourself. What you really seem to be saying is, "Why is it so hard to be human?" I've got a great marriage myself...third try, but 40 years in...but it was WORK! (Still is.) Yours was too, I'll bet. And yeah, your path to success lacked the impediments that others were faced with, but so did Sam Bankman-Fried's, Mike Milken's, and innumerable others who squandered opportunity. Bottom line is that what you are calling myth seems to be a story of success you worked at, talent you didn't waste, and opportunities you took advantage of. Does that mean everything will be perfect? Nope. Or that you should feel a scintilla of guilt for making the most of your chances while trying to remain a decent and moral person? No again. And finally, the very fact that you are asking these questions puts you way ahead of the game. Introspection is pretty rare these days...probably always has been.
Interesting angle on this question, one that I feel some sympathy for. I do have a personal myth and I won’t go into any depth here, but it basically says that no matter what, I’ll figure things out, that things will turn out for me in the end. Your article is making me think I need to examine it a little more closely ...
It's only a myth if it didn't occur. I think the wealthy feel the need to make myths because that is how they validate their standing to the masses. They need to make it more because otherwise they don't deserve the comforts found in their story. The wealthy have replaced the superheros/gods/extraordinary talent we find in human history.
They must make their story more than average. Because if it is not talent that put them there, then why are they there and how do they stay there.
My life story is no myth, it is very much a reality. However, I had to wait until l had enough money to protect myself before I shared my real life story. Because when the poor tell their story, and it sounds like a myth, they are forced institutionalized.
This was interesting. We all tell ourselves stories. I think for lots of people the most difficult thing to do is give themselves credit. Tied for first place is refusing to acknowledge fault. Your story seems full of guilt for having been born into a family with money. That guilt doesn't seem like privilege to me. Its sounds more like a giant weight hanging over you.
Of course I don't know you but it seems to me you should give your self some credit. It sounds like you have done well in life and have a good family. At the very least you have the guts to examine yourself.
Of course you probably shouldn't listen to me. I think my biggest failing is refusing to believe I've done anything well in my 65 years no matter what people tell me.
This was a good bit of writing in my opinion. Hope to read more soon.
I am a survivor. There were times when I SHOULD HAVE died, I've felt the cold chill of the Reaper's scythe as it neared my skin on more than one occasion. But here am I at 65, a perpetual juvenile deliquent, still looking for my unique place in life.
A personal myth ? Perhaps.
Because no-one else will.....and what/why would it matter? A head start is just that. XO, Sheri
WOW !!!!
I think you can be too hard on yourself -- at times ---
There’s no type of person I love more, than those who are willing to admit the hard truths; those who will sit with the uncomfortableness and the contradictions.
I don’t have a trust fund but I have PRIVILEGE. And I’m the product of expensive private schooling. But I was raised by people who don’t care about money (another privilege) and so I’m often confused about my own feelings toward it.
I think honesty is the best we can offer people. Silence the myths (I’ll have to come up with a list of mine lol) and admit that I started off at the 50 yard line, if not closer...
Privilege is a difficult subject. People who are born into privilege are very lucky. So should they be blamed for circumstances beyond their control? They should be blamed for their attitude and arrogance as adults, if they fail to understand their advantages, or share their good fortune.
The cartoon On a Plate by Toby Morris powerfully shows the difference in privilege. https://www.boredpanda.com/privilege-explanation-comic-strip-on-a-plate-toby-morris/
We should only be blamed if we do not make the most of our privilege to help as many people as possible, and also influence governments to improve society and provide support, especially for young people.
I did go to a UK private school. The amount of income needed to pay for it nearly 60 years ago was not as high as nowadays. I was privileged because my father could afford to pay, so I went to boarding school, aged five, instead of going into foster care when my parents divorced. Because of my education I have a ‘posh’ accent, which people often mistake for a snobbish attitude. That is their myth.
As the research shows very abundantly, the headstart you get in life makes a huge difference in your life chances and life outcomes. If you were born into a working class family that sent you to a poorly-performing local school system, would you have fared as well? Not likely at all. Hard truth, but there it is.
The problem also is that, at least since the Reagan 1980s, the systems that were set up to support the life chances of the middle and working classes have been systematically undermined and destroyed in favor of the privileged and wealthy. Which means that anyone with pre-existing privilege has benefitted at the expense of others.
Now we have systems that are decimating the life chances of most people in the country. I've visited school systems that don't even have books, supplies, toilet paper, you name it. Many people are coming out of school systems unable to read and write or calculate. What are their life chances?
If you want to make a difference, then I would say do something to help your local school systems. Not the easy way through your synagogue but on your own. Visit and volunteer to help. See what other people's lives are like, especially kids coming up in our crumbling systems right now. It will probably shock you, but I think it will allow you to see that yes, you might have won the lottery in life, but that doesn't mean you can't make a real difference in life helping others and using what God has given you to do real and meaningful good.
It might also help you understand a lot of what's happening in the political sphere. Ditch the mainstream news media, which is useless in understanding anything.
I was a public school teacher for 27 years. I think public schools are the foundation of my internal America: this idea that everyone will be given an education for free and that it will be an education worth having. Of all the ideals that make up America, I think that’s the best one. But, the fairy concept has been under attack almost since its conception.
That said, I don’t blame parents for seeking out private schools for their kids if they can afford it. Private schools are generally better funded, and because they don’t have to take everybody they don’t deal with some of the social issues that public schools do. It can be risky in that those birds only learn how to flock together with birds who I have the same kinds of feathers. But, there have been far fewer shootings in private schools. So the insulation is worth something.
“Nobody knows the trouble I've seen."
There is so much struggle in this world that I can't imagine that anyone gets the sympathy that they actually deserve. We are so busy trying to do what needs to be done (including giving ourselves downtime), that we do not have the excess capacity to give appropriate attention to the needs of others.
Who do we admire more? The talented athlete who fulfills his potential or the much less talented athlete who struggles to stay on the team?
Dave, I know you have done more than you will ever get credit for. But that's true about just about everyone.
Dave, you get up every morning and continue the good fight. That's more than enough for me. And, BTW, your self-doubt detracts from that effort.
The “new age” philosophy (which is very misunderstood by most) tells us that we are each born to experience life from a given perspective. Sometimes we want great adversity to rise to a different point lace. Sometimes we can’t overcome that adversity, but (believe it or not) our time on this planet is but a flash in the overall scheme. Certain “religions/philosophies” are more helpful than others to show us the path/attitude to deal with this physical existence. (None of it is very clear to us earthlings.) Be grateful for the gifts you’ve been given. (I personally believe I should also try to make the world better - or at l ast not add to the misery.)
That was brave, if you ask me. However, you also made me think, once again, about how we generalize and categorize people. What makes a good story? Well, it’s not usually about the people who aren’t controversial. If you aren’t mean, you haven’t suffered enough, and you are mostly living your life, then you, and others like you, are not the people we love to hate.
Being “privileged” doesn’t automatically make you anything. You are still responsible for your personal behavior, and especially, how you treat others. If you’re well off, have a great family, etc., then good for you. I enjoy your writing, and I will also note, that I cannot ever remember you bragging or coming close to giving the appearance that you are better because of what you have.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I enjoy reading people’s thoughts because everyone is interesting, and often surprising. Don’t worry, David. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and enjoy your life. You’re doing great!
Interesting. I have never given any thought to having a personal myth. I'm not sure I want to!
Haha. But you didn't quote Branch Rickey. "Luck is the residue of design." I also believe that an absence of bad luck...which you had...is more important than good luck...which you often made yourself. What you really seem to be saying is, "Why is it so hard to be human?" I've got a great marriage myself...third try, but 40 years in...but it was WORK! (Still is.) Yours was too, I'll bet. And yeah, your path to success lacked the impediments that others were faced with, but so did Sam Bankman-Fried's, Mike Milken's, and innumerable others who squandered opportunity. Bottom line is that what you are calling myth seems to be a story of success you worked at, talent you didn't waste, and opportunities you took advantage of. Does that mean everything will be perfect? Nope. Or that you should feel a scintilla of guilt for making the most of your chances while trying to remain a decent and moral person? No again. And finally, the very fact that you are asking these questions puts you way ahead of the game. Introspection is pretty rare these days...probably always has been.
Interesting angle on this question, one that I feel some sympathy for. I do have a personal myth and I won’t go into any depth here, but it basically says that no matter what, I’ll figure things out, that things will turn out for me in the end. Your article is making me think I need to examine it a little more closely ...
It's only a myth if it didn't occur. I think the wealthy feel the need to make myths because that is how they validate their standing to the masses. They need to make it more because otherwise they don't deserve the comforts found in their story. The wealthy have replaced the superheros/gods/extraordinary talent we find in human history.
They must make their story more than average. Because if it is not talent that put them there, then why are they there and how do they stay there.
My life story is no myth, it is very much a reality. However, I had to wait until l had enough money to protect myself before I shared my real life story. Because when the poor tell their story, and it sounds like a myth, they are forced institutionalized.
This was interesting. We all tell ourselves stories. I think for lots of people the most difficult thing to do is give themselves credit. Tied for first place is refusing to acknowledge fault. Your story seems full of guilt for having been born into a family with money. That guilt doesn't seem like privilege to me. Its sounds more like a giant weight hanging over you.
Of course I don't know you but it seems to me you should give your self some credit. It sounds like you have done well in life and have a good family. At the very least you have the guts to examine yourself.
Of course you probably shouldn't listen to me. I think my biggest failing is refusing to believe I've done anything well in my 65 years no matter what people tell me.
This was a good bit of writing in my opinion. Hope to read more soon.