No apology needed and point taken. I have always remembered that when I was 19 and drove a delivery van for a florist, the poorer folks were good tippers. It wasn't always that they gave more, but they always gave and did it with a kind attitude, not just to fulfill an obligation.
Isabel, it is my experience that David pays pretty close attention to what we write, though that does not mean he will address it. :) The question about isolationism is an interesting one but like so many other values questions, I don't think we can generalize very well. It is true that the poorer folks are closer to the workers in how they live their everyday life, but it is an attitude and many wealthier folks do show sincere appreciation. I can remember a few times when folks (who could afford it) insisted on paying me more for my work than I was charging. I'm just not sure that we can fairly say the disconnect follows prosperity. For some, sure. For others, not at all and, I suppose, there are also lower income folks who don't share the attitude I recall. Is there a generalization, if flawed, at work here? I think it is hard to say as our views are shaped by a stereotypes as much as statistics -- maybe more so. Hmmm
I read your first line and was immediately thinking of the JAL flight as well...they were told they had 90 seconds to deplane. The trays up and seats up right rules surely didn’t seem so frivolous when you life is on the line. A good reminder...
Early on in my Navy career we were still required to wear our uniforms while on travel and I was given an empty seat in First Class due to my military service. It was the one and only time I have ever sat in those large, spacious, comfortable seats. I don't have any animosity towards those in first class though. Even though I could afford it, I am far too frugal to pay for the privilege. A by-product of my rural, farm boy upbringing I suppose. I can definitely identify with the rage towards rule-breakers though. It seethes inside of me like a pot trying to boil over. I have quite a bit of self-control but I am sure my face shows my disdain for these selfish types who think only of themselves. My pet peeve is the passenger who is seated at the back of the plane but stows their enormous carry-ons in the very front overhead bins.
Good essay. I've never understood envy. If someone can afford something I cannot, so what? My station would not be improved by their deprivation. Rule-breakers on the other hand .... Grrr.
David, excellent switch-up in talking about getting angry at rule-breaking jerks to the privilege of affording first class et al. I’m not sure the rule-breaking is worse than it always was in the out-for-myself US of A - or don’t-tell-me-what-to-do - we aren’t Japan, which has its own cultural rigidities to deal with. And with unfairness on airlines, I think most people understand you get what you pay for, especially because air travel is so unpleasant these days - BUT I do think people are angrier for all sorts of reasons and on both sides of the political aisle, which means many things can trigger rage at what other people (aka JERKS) do in public. Good thing nobody can read my mind when I’m driving 😉
Thanks for another enjoyable piece! I looked at the linked underlying research on association between air rage incidents and planes with first class cabins. It's an interesting idea but I think it's an equally interesting example of mistaking association for causation. I'd imagine that planes with dual-class cabins are associated with longer flights, and that longer flights are far more likely to be sites of air rage than shorter (this seems to be supported by other data in the research - that the majority of air ragers have overconsumed alcohol or suffer nicotine withdrawal - both of which are time dependent conditions). So I'm not sure if the guy who loses it back in economy is driven at all by the fact that someone's getting free sparkling wine up in Seat 1A.
Also: did the Scofflaw plan work? Were kids and wife able to cut the line to join Mr S??
I have to admit that there is something rather obnoxious about Disney’s obvious way of making more money at the “expense” of its other customers. Still, if it’s offered, and there are people who can and/or willing to pay for it, then I’m not going to blame those customers.
First Class is not something I’ve ever been concerned with, not for a minute. It’s expensive, and I can’t afford it, or at least, I can’t justify it. Then again, I do my best not to fly anywhere. The entire experience is a crap shoot. You don’t know who’s going to be sitting next to you, and too many people have become obnoxiously self serving. They’re completely oblivious or uncaring as to how their own behavior impacts the experience for others who have the misfortune of being stuck in their general vicinity. And, let’s face it, when you’re packed into a relatively small space, that “vicinity” can include enough people to increase the odds that some part of your flight is going to be irritating.
To be honest, we don’t travel a lot. We have horses and a dog, and it’s hard to find reliable people to care for them. My husband traveled a lot, overseas, before he retired, so he says he’s had his fill. The last time I flew was to South Africa, and I thought I never wanted to fly again. We were in business class, which wasn’t too bad, but I still disliked the entire experience. I sound old and cranky, but I’d rather take some day trips in the car. We live in Wisconsin, and it’s beautiful, so a few days driving around the state is another option.
I traveled a lot more when I was young, and it was wonderful then.
I have written about individual behavior versus the collective good often. And although karma may come into play, it’s usually not soon enough for me to revel in it.
When I come upon selfish drivers behaving badly, I will either flip them off or give them the peace sign. It all depends upon my personal mood. I usually feel better when I do the latter. My mother’s wisdom of “kill them with kindness” comes to the surface.
Sometimes the best we can do is imagine karma. I like the peace sign gambit. It ought to be interpreted as sarcasm. Or at minimum confuse the miscreant.
I've been told (although I have never validated this) that only children 12 years and younger are permitted to ride bicycles on the New York City sidewalks. As a result, I become furious at any obviously-above-12 bike rider on the sidewalk. As you have suggested, it's not necessarily because my own health or safety are at risk, but precisely because that person is breaking the rules.
Oh, I also look with disdain upon those that throw trash in the streets, either while walking or driving.
Under the NYC Administrative Code, it is a violation for a person 13 or older to ride a bicycle on the sidewalk, punishable by a fine. Riding a bicycle on a sidewalk in a manner, or under conditions that endanger others' safety is actually a criminal offense (a misdemeanor) punishable by up to 20 days jail! (I've actually represented defendants charged with this!)
...and are we permitted to arrest those who use their mobile phone speakers whilst in public? It's one of those indicators of growing self-centeredness and disregard for one's surroundings and neighbors that annoys me even more than non-tykes on bikes. I suppose that there's no law against rudeness.
NY Criminal Procedure Law (sections 140.30, 140.35 and 140.40) basically authorizes a private citizen to arrest another person for any crime. There are certain provisions that limit locale of arrest (for example you can only arrest someone for a misdemeanor if committed in that county - for example I can't arrest Jim on the upper west side because I saw him possess heroin I'm Rochester - so stop.worrying Jim). There have been bills proposed fairly recently to strike the NY citizens arrest law because it is considered potentially dangerous, I guess for obvious reasons).
Something about air travel really brings out the worst in people (me included). I have so many stories of being silently angry at random people on planes. One of the worst was an Emirates flight where the family across from me--who apparently had a tight connection--yelled at the flight attendant until she cried because she wasn’t letting them disembark fast enough. They apparently didn’t understand the concept of jetways. 😡
Rudeness to the flight attendants would be at the top of anger for most of us I think. They have such tough jobs to begin with.
Below was to me a funny clip from a mediocre movie, Made, with Vince Vaughn as the awful first class passenger acting inappropriately with the flight attendant.
Graciousness is not owed only from those with means. It is cost free and can be found in many places, available to all.
No apology needed and point taken. I have always remembered that when I was 19 and drove a delivery van for a florist, the poorer folks were good tippers. It wasn't always that they gave more, but they always gave and did it with a kind attitude, not just to fulfill an obligation.
Isabel, it is my experience that David pays pretty close attention to what we write, though that does not mean he will address it. :) The question about isolationism is an interesting one but like so many other values questions, I don't think we can generalize very well. It is true that the poorer folks are closer to the workers in how they live their everyday life, but it is an attitude and many wealthier folks do show sincere appreciation. I can remember a few times when folks (who could afford it) insisted on paying me more for my work than I was charging. I'm just not sure that we can fairly say the disconnect follows prosperity. For some, sure. For others, not at all and, I suppose, there are also lower income folks who don't share the attitude I recall. Is there a generalization, if flawed, at work here? I think it is hard to say as our views are shaped by a stereotypes as much as statistics -- maybe more so. Hmmm
I bet you're excellent at maximizing reward miles!
Sometimes first class international travel SLAPS!
(Did I use the term correctly? Was it too forced?)
Ah, that glare coming out of your wife's eyes! Women often do use their power well.
The walk of fame or the walk of shame, which path to take?
Sometimes they're the same!
I couldn’t begin to list the times I’ve been angry at the behavior of strangers, and still write a column called “I’m Not Complaining.”
Haha. The essay wouldn't match the theme of your Substack.
Nor yours!
One can find the humor in almost anything. Even the Scofflaws. Hehe.
I read your first line and was immediately thinking of the JAL flight as well...they were told they had 90 seconds to deplane. The trays up and seats up right rules surely didn’t seem so frivolous when you life is on the line. A good reminder...
David, you had me at “Oh yes!” This is a terrific essay.
Early on in my Navy career we were still required to wear our uniforms while on travel and I was given an empty seat in First Class due to my military service. It was the one and only time I have ever sat in those large, spacious, comfortable seats. I don't have any animosity towards those in first class though. Even though I could afford it, I am far too frugal to pay for the privilege. A by-product of my rural, farm boy upbringing I suppose. I can definitely identify with the rage towards rule-breakers though. It seethes inside of me like a pot trying to boil over. I have quite a bit of self-control but I am sure my face shows my disdain for these selfish types who think only of themselves. My pet peeve is the passenger who is seated at the back of the plane but stows their enormous carry-ons in the very front overhead bins.
Good essay. I've never understood envy. If someone can afford something I cannot, so what? My station would not be improved by their deprivation. Rule-breakers on the other hand .... Grrr.
So true. Envy does not serve anyone's mental wellness. It's a commandment for good reason. :)
David, excellent switch-up in talking about getting angry at rule-breaking jerks to the privilege of affording first class et al. I’m not sure the rule-breaking is worse than it always was in the out-for-myself US of A - or don’t-tell-me-what-to-do - we aren’t Japan, which has its own cultural rigidities to deal with. And with unfairness on airlines, I think most people understand you get what you pay for, especially because air travel is so unpleasant these days - BUT I do think people are angrier for all sorts of reasons and on both sides of the political aisle, which means many things can trigger rage at what other people (aka JERKS) do in public. Good thing nobody can read my mind when I’m driving 😉
Thanks for another enjoyable piece! I looked at the linked underlying research on association between air rage incidents and planes with first class cabins. It's an interesting idea but I think it's an equally interesting example of mistaking association for causation. I'd imagine that planes with dual-class cabins are associated with longer flights, and that longer flights are far more likely to be sites of air rage than shorter (this seems to be supported by other data in the research - that the majority of air ragers have overconsumed alcohol or suffer nicotine withdrawal - both of which are time dependent conditions). So I'm not sure if the guy who loses it back in economy is driven at all by the fact that someone's getting free sparkling wine up in Seat 1A.
Also: did the Scofflaw plan work? Were kids and wife able to cut the line to join Mr S??
The length of flight could certainly affect the data.
Never knew what happened to the Scofflaws. We never saw them after we went through Global Entry.
I have to admit that there is something rather obnoxious about Disney’s obvious way of making more money at the “expense” of its other customers. Still, if it’s offered, and there are people who can and/or willing to pay for it, then I’m not going to blame those customers.
First Class is not something I’ve ever been concerned with, not for a minute. It’s expensive, and I can’t afford it, or at least, I can’t justify it. Then again, I do my best not to fly anywhere. The entire experience is a crap shoot. You don’t know who’s going to be sitting next to you, and too many people have become obnoxiously self serving. They’re completely oblivious or uncaring as to how their own behavior impacts the experience for others who have the misfortune of being stuck in their general vicinity. And, let’s face it, when you’re packed into a relatively small space, that “vicinity” can include enough people to increase the odds that some part of your flight is going to be irritating.
I've grown less and less fond of flying. Although when there's internet, it's a great time to read and write without distraction.
Writing on airplanes is better than any coffee house.
To be honest, we don’t travel a lot. We have horses and a dog, and it’s hard to find reliable people to care for them. My husband traveled a lot, overseas, before he retired, so he says he’s had his fill. The last time I flew was to South Africa, and I thought I never wanted to fly again. We were in business class, which wasn’t too bad, but I still disliked the entire experience. I sound old and cranky, but I’d rather take some day trips in the car. We live in Wisconsin, and it’s beautiful, so a few days driving around the state is another option.
I traveled a lot more when I was young, and it was wonderful then.
I have written about individual behavior versus the collective good often. And although karma may come into play, it’s usually not soon enough for me to revel in it.
When I come upon selfish drivers behaving badly, I will either flip them off or give them the peace sign. It all depends upon my personal mood. I usually feel better when I do the latter. My mother’s wisdom of “kill them with kindness” comes to the surface.
Sometimes the best we can do is imagine karma. I like the peace sign gambit. It ought to be interpreted as sarcasm. Or at minimum confuse the miscreant.
Miscreant. Love that descriptor. I usually refer to them as idiots! Yes, and imagining the karma.
I’ll never hesitate to stow away my devices. Never knew why until now- thank you.
I've been told (although I have never validated this) that only children 12 years and younger are permitted to ride bicycles on the New York City sidewalks. As a result, I become furious at any obviously-above-12 bike rider on the sidewalk. As you have suggested, it's not necessarily because my own health or safety are at risk, but precisely because that person is breaking the rules.
Oh, I also look with disdain upon those that throw trash in the streets, either while walking or driving.
Under the NYC Administrative Code, it is a violation for a person 13 or older to ride a bicycle on the sidewalk, punishable by a fine. Riding a bicycle on a sidewalk in a manner, or under conditions that endanger others' safety is actually a criminal offense (a misdemeanor) punishable by up to 20 days jail! (I've actually represented defendants charged with this!)
Thanks Sam!
What is the current legal status of citizens making arrests?
Jim and I want to know.
...and are we permitted to arrest those who use their mobile phone speakers whilst in public? It's one of those indicators of growing self-centeredness and disregard for one's surroundings and neighbors that annoys me even more than non-tykes on bikes. I suppose that there's no law against rudeness.
What is the current legal status of citizens making arrests?
Jim and I want to know.
NY Criminal Procedure Law (sections 140.30, 140.35 and 140.40) basically authorizes a private citizen to arrest another person for any crime. There are certain provisions that limit locale of arrest (for example you can only arrest someone for a misdemeanor if committed in that county - for example I can't arrest Jim on the upper west side because I saw him possess heroin I'm Rochester - so stop.worrying Jim). There have been bills proposed fairly recently to strike the NY citizens arrest law because it is considered potentially dangerous, I guess for obvious reasons).
I should also citizen arrest is authorized if the subject crime is a felony even if not committed in the presence of person making the arrest.
Trash in the street is a biggy for me. And dumping garbage or old tv's or carpeting. Grrrr.
Something about air travel really brings out the worst in people (me included). I have so many stories of being silently angry at random people on planes. One of the worst was an Emirates flight where the family across from me--who apparently had a tight connection--yelled at the flight attendant until she cried because she wasn’t letting them disembark fast enough. They apparently didn’t understand the concept of jetways. 😡
Rudeness to the flight attendants would be at the top of anger for most of us I think. They have such tough jobs to begin with.
Below was to me a funny clip from a mediocre movie, Made, with Vince Vaughn as the awful first class passenger acting inappropriately with the flight attendant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjyPtvWAgjE
Haha!
I’ve never seen made and got a good laugh out of this! Thanks for sharing!