I learned to play golf on a course where the first tee was visible from everywhere. From the glass windows of the clubhouse to the practice putting green to all the caddies and players lining the first tee waiting and watching. Near the side of the tee stood an open shed where the caddie-master and starter, Louie, presided. Louie was the king of the golf course, setting the order of who teed off when, ruling the caddies with an iron fist and a quick and often cruel wit.
Sometimes a player with nothing to lose, who has no expectation of winning, plays loose and calm and wins. (The counter might be that those players nonetheless expected to win deep down despite the external expectations of a loss.)
For many C’s of the world, I wonder if they are not as happy. When they win, it’s expected and not celebrated. When they lose, it’s unexpected and crushing. So you need to couple expectations with a good attitude, otherwise you’re only playing to avoid mental pain.
Really nice story, and I identify with both sides. I’ve been at that golf tee, whiffing at the ball, at a company golf outing (though I had no expectations of greatness). And I’ve been C in a few sports too. I prefer the latter position, though it doesn’t happen as often as I get older. Luckily, I no longer care so much.
Aug 28, 2022·edited Aug 28, 2022Liked by david roberts
I grew up playing baseball, and when you misjudge a fly ball with the bases full and have to run and chase it down, your crowd is booing and the opponent's crowd is cheering because you lost the game for your team. You learn something.
But you remind me of a corporate outing where I was brand new and didn't even realize that I'd been put on the golf team with an executive who was the boss over all the bosses I knew of. Someone so high up, I would never see him again.
I was a reluctant and non-serious golfer wearing granny gardening sneakers, cargo shorts and a casual button up shirt (the only kind I had with a collar). Left over from baseball, my golf technique is like swinging a bat, where I step into it, and there's a lot of whiffs and seriously foul balls. And pretty girls would show up with cold beer, which I gulped down the whole way.
When we got back to the office setting, I learned that I had acted so inappropriately it became acceptable. I had lowered everyone's expectations. (We were playing "best lie" or whatever, so I didnt directly affect the score.) Some of my coworkers were horrified.
Edit to be clear: This was accounting/finance, not a tech company. Very stuffy.
I would really like to understand how C mentally manages her feat! If I’m ahead and it’s unexpected, I know that my capable opponent will start to compete harder and be successful. Andrew’s comments are helpful here. Will report back if that new perspective can change the outcome.
I think attitude towards expectations is key too.
Sometimes a player with nothing to lose, who has no expectation of winning, plays loose and calm and wins. (The counter might be that those players nonetheless expected to win deep down despite the external expectations of a loss.)
For many C’s of the world, I wonder if they are not as happy. When they win, it’s expected and not celebrated. When they lose, it’s unexpected and crushing. So you need to couple expectations with a good attitude, otherwise you’re only playing to avoid mental pain.
Really nice story, and I identify with both sides. I’ve been at that golf tee, whiffing at the ball, at a company golf outing (though I had no expectations of greatness). And I’ve been C in a few sports too. I prefer the latter position, though it doesn’t happen as often as I get older. Luckily, I no longer care so much.
I grew up playing baseball, and when you misjudge a fly ball with the bases full and have to run and chase it down, your crowd is booing and the opponent's crowd is cheering because you lost the game for your team. You learn something.
But you remind me of a corporate outing where I was brand new and didn't even realize that I'd been put on the golf team with an executive who was the boss over all the bosses I knew of. Someone so high up, I would never see him again.
I was a reluctant and non-serious golfer wearing granny gardening sneakers, cargo shorts and a casual button up shirt (the only kind I had with a collar). Left over from baseball, my golf technique is like swinging a bat, where I step into it, and there's a lot of whiffs and seriously foul balls. And pretty girls would show up with cold beer, which I gulped down the whole way.
When we got back to the office setting, I learned that I had acted so inappropriately it became acceptable. I had lowered everyone's expectations. (We were playing "best lie" or whatever, so I didnt directly affect the score.) Some of my coworkers were horrified.
Edit to be clear: This was accounting/finance, not a tech company. Very stuffy.
That's a very funny anecdote. Thanks.
I would really like to understand how C mentally manages her feat! If I’m ahead and it’s unexpected, I know that my capable opponent will start to compete harder and be successful. Andrew’s comments are helpful here. Will report back if that new perspective can change the outcome.
Me too!