There’s a cognitive memory bias called the “Peak-End Rule”–––given any experience, our memory of it will focus on the peak, or most intense moment(s) and its end.
Great advice. I had never heard of this bias. But I may pick and choose when to use perspective to combat it. Difficult journeys with positive outcomes may be best remembered with the peak-end bias!
I think it is good to realize that live is about moments, not events. A college graduation, a wedding and a birth are all memorable events, of course. The are big events, even life-changing. But what about the moments in our lives which outnumber events by orders of magnitude? Seeing your son get married was big, but his married life will be much more important than a brief ceremony and subsequent party. Holding his hand when he was taking first steps, having a catch with him, picking him up when he fell, playing Scrabble and an endless number of moments are really what that relationship is about. Too often, I think, we focus on events and not moments.
What a great piece, I especially love your final sentence: "It makes me aware that if something goes a little off course, best to correct it as soon as possible."
It reminds me of a piece of advice I got (I don't remember from who now), which was: "Whenever you have an argument, focus on the smallest thing you are disagreeing on, and work on that".
Poignant. Beautiful. Thank you.
Great advice. I had never heard of this bias. But I may pick and choose when to use perspective to combat it. Difficult journeys with positive outcomes may be best remembered with the peak-end bias!
That's true. Like certain basketball games and series!
I think it is good to realize that live is about moments, not events. A college graduation, a wedding and a birth are all memorable events, of course. The are big events, even life-changing. But what about the moments in our lives which outnumber events by orders of magnitude? Seeing your son get married was big, but his married life will be much more important than a brief ceremony and subsequent party. Holding his hand when he was taking first steps, having a catch with him, picking him up when he fell, playing Scrabble and an endless number of moments are really what that relationship is about. Too often, I think, we focus on events and not moments.
What a great piece, I especially love your final sentence: "It makes me aware that if something goes a little off course, best to correct it as soon as possible."
It reminds me of a piece of advice I got (I don't remember from who now), which was: "Whenever you have an argument, focus on the smallest thing you are disagreeing on, and work on that".