79 Comments
Mar 30Liked by david roberts

Great story, beautifully told, sparkling with Debbie's happy, enchanting smile.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Portia!

Expand full comment

It's funny how when we reach a certain age in life, we began to reminisce about the 'good old days'. Stories like this is love. Love at first sight. Silver wigs and all. :-)

Expand full comment
Mar 30Liked by david roberts

I couldn't love this more if I tried! As for Steve being your fashion consultant....I can actually hear him exhorting you to dress the part of an Area regular!

Expand full comment
Mar 30Liked by david roberts

What a captivating reminiscence! Thank you. I met the girl who is now my wife when we were both 18 and we married four years later. The story of our courtship is nowhere near as interesting as yours, but we have now been married 59 years and have three fantastic daughters, each of whom has one child. The jury is still out on the grandchildren, although I wouldn't admit that to the daughters.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for the comment.

In so many ways, the story of 59 years is captivating all by itself.

Expand full comment

Thank you, David. I have no doubt you could make it captivating. Me? Not so much.

Expand full comment

I love that your writing is so passionate!! And what a beautiful woman in that photo from the Browning yearbook!! No wonder you fell so hard!!!

Expand full comment

Ha! I am older than you, but I cannot believe how much overlap there is with my meeting, falling in love, and eventually marrying Nancy. I met her where she worked, at what was then Marine Midland bank, and the first time I saw her walking across the floor, a knockout in a blue suit with the best legs and best eyes I had ever seen, I was smitten. She was beautiful then, is beautiful now, but didn't believe it then, and doesn't believe it now. She was also painfully shy and would occasionally spill drinks on herself at parties when she had to talk to people. (Now she can talk to audiences of hundreds of people like a real pro.). She also had a boyfriend, although she had come to realize he was kind of a jerk...a circumstance of which I took full advantage.

I went to Area all the time and took her to demonstrate coolness. (The communal bathrooms were more than that, by the way, but since we're both writing G-rated versions, I'll leave it to you to figure out the rest.)

As to looks--after I left Wall Street I acted and modeled for a while. I went to auditions with Tony Spinelli and Jack Scalia, the two hottest male models at the time. Did I think I was good looking? I did not. I always thought, "What the hell am I doing here?" As my best friend told me, "No matter how thin you get, you're always going to look in the mirror and see a 12-year-old fat Jewish kid from Brooklyn." Took a long time for that not to be true. I was around some of the best looking men and women in the world and EVERY ONE OF THEM focused on flaws. In some cases, it was so ridiculous as to be head-shaking. And again, not just the women, even though Nancy tells me it's woman thing to think you're unattractive.

Finally, that's a great picture of Debbie...and you're right. She's too good looking for you. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Expand full comment
author

I love the story of you and Nancy. Debbie's boyfriend was as far as I can tell a nice guy, but I took full advantage of home field advantage and being 18 months out of school with all the worldly wisdom that provides!

I agree abut the attractiveness gap between us even while she still clings to her misguided views!

Expand full comment

Haha. I saw your picture...I doubt that mothers hide their children's eyes when you come into view. Actually, the Nancy-boyfriend-me story has a lot more to it--and is a hoot--but I am not allowed to tell.

Expand full comment

Wow. I hope we meet some day, have a few pints and let me tell the parallel story of a girl and me a long time ago. I understand your experience perfectly.

Interestingly, I wasn't as patient as you so after two years of waiting for her to break up with the other guy I took the initiative and broke us up. It was horrible. I was crushed and focused on my profession to stop thinking about her and girls in general.

Here is the rub. If I hadn't done what I did I never would have met the actual love of my life who forced me to take her whitewater canoeing on a first date! Married 38 years now.

Reading your piece brought back some memories. Some make me smile and others not so much. Still, I can't bring myself to think badly of that girl I adored so long ago.

Thank you for the trip down memory lane!

Cheers,

John

Expand full comment
author

Thanks John. I could barely make it two months with Debbie not having ended it with Bob. So, no way would I have endured very much longer, let alone two years. Well, 38 years says there';s no doubt you made a great decision.

Expand full comment

Yeah, it’s a long story full of twists and turns!

Expand full comment

WOW, David! You nailed the detailed descriptions complete with attached emotions so small wonder you felt them again. My hunch is you make many of us want to meet Debbie some day although this was a superb introduction. Question: What's Debbie's response to the post? If you and/or she want to keep that private, understood and respected. I will also look forward to the following chapters in this ongoing love story and you shared part of that in one of your earlier posts, thank you.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Gary. Debbie approves all my posts before they went out and she gave extra focus on this one. She was shy about having any picture of her at all. But she relented. All in all, she took it as a sort of love letter to her, which it was.

Expand full comment

LOL at footnote 5.

Expand full comment

poignant in every detail and you had me at "rolo".... glad your future brother in law was no competition!!! lol Richard Gere tho THAT was a higher bar and well cleared by you

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Appleton! I was definitely relieved that Richard here was not a "real" love interest.

Expand full comment
Mar 30Liked by david roberts

You nailed it about Area. What an experience to get in!

Expand full comment
Mar 30Liked by david roberts

We are a year apart in age. Although meeting my wife wasn't exactly the same, the emotions and first few month's rollercoaster were just as you've written. There's even a Bob! Also I've really come to understand how much of what I think is physically beautiful (and sexy) is informed by ages 12-14. I'm still smitten by Ann and Nancy Wilson and my beautiful wife is, to me, a perfect blend of both.

Expand full comment
author

The Wilsons are so talented and beautiful. I often watch and listen to their performance of Stairway to Heaven honoring Led Zeppelin at the Kennedy Center.

Expand full comment

Lovely story David! Thanks for sharing it with us all!

Expand full comment

I hear courage, I hear taking risks, I hear going all in without having all the steps planned or all bases covered. I think both men and women have lost these traits today when it comes to intimacy and love. Thank you for sharing such a personal and beautiful story, David!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Monica. I definitely felt "all-in" as I'd never felt before or since. I think events were helped by the absence of cell phones. It's hard to remember what life was like without instantaneous availability of communication.

Expand full comment

Yeah, and also without the illusion of infinite choice.

Expand full comment
author

I love that phrase. Sums up so much in just a few words. Thank you!

Expand full comment

A love story for all time that has "legs" in your earlier essays. A pleasure to read this, David, you lucky guy, who does indeed make his own luck.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Mary!

Expand full comment

Gosh, I loved this--for the glimpse into an older version of NYC and for the meet-cute.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Jillian!

Expand full comment